Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Something's Fishy

I have always wanted an aquarium wall...well, since 1997 anyway. That was the year "Romeo and Juliet" starring Leonardo DiCaprio came out. Remember the scene where Romeo spots Juliet through the glass aquarium wall, time stands still. If you never believed in love at first site, well, you do now. I think the entire experience was intensified for me since I watched the movie on prom night. As if there aren't enough hormones raging anyway, let's get a group together and watch a romance film about suicidal lovers.

Nice.

Anyway, like I was saying, after I watched that scene, all I wanted in life, besides lettering in band, was an aquarium wall in my future house. Fast forward 9 years. I lettered in band but still no sign of the aquarium wall. Or future house for that matter. This year I decided to start small so I went and bought a 12 gallon tank. I was so excited looking at all the beautiful fish that would one day fill the tank. That's when the sales associate told me that I would need to equalize-bacterialize-something-blah-blah my tank. In order to do that, I would need to keep 5 or 6 goldfish in my tank for about a month. Apparently goldfish have a higher tolerance to toxic tap water and can equalize-harmonize-whatever-blah-blah the tank so when I add other fish, they don't die. I'm told this is preferable. I should point out one thing though.

I hate goldfish. Not dislike; not find objectionable; Hate. But sometimes you have to sacrifice. So...

...I bought 5. I named them after people I hate. Not dislike or find objectionable; hate. One was a singer, one an actress, one a wife of an ex-boyfriend, one a guy I met on my senior graduation trip and one was my bestest friend's ex-boyfriend. I thought it fitting that the goldfish named after the girl I hated most, died first. I really enjoyed flushing that little fishy down the tube. Ahhhh.....

Well, long blog entry short, the tank reached optimal equilization-detoxification-bacterialization-civilization level so I was able to get rid of the goldfish. I bought 2 small frogs and 2 male guppies. I named the frogs Miss. Non-Commital (either because she jumps from place to place or she represents my dating life) and Bob Cox. The fish are Elvis and Belle. So I was hanging out with my math friend TR2 the other day. I went to show him my "pets" when I realized Elvis wasn't swimming around. I leaned down to see if he was floating by the filter. No. He wasn't under any of the shells either. That's when I realized Miss Non-Committal was substantially larger than Bob Cox. In this instance, she was very committed to finishing her dinner. Ulg... But one thing is for sure...Elvis is dead.

Unless anyone knows where I can find male guppies who like to wear wigs, sequin shirts, and roll their hips, er fins I guess.

7 comments:

joN. said...

how gross and sad! hey is bob cox named after anyone?

charlottalove said...

It's one of those all encompassing nicknames my family uses. I think it originated one night when we were all being silly at the dinner table. Not as creative as Bob Loblaw though.

joN. said...

i'm guessing todd gack will be the name of a future fish

Shankar said...

Bobby Cox is the manager of the Atlanta Braves.

Shankar said...

I happen to like goldfish. Well...I don't hate them with the same murderous intensity that you do.

Shankar said...

On the other hand, I do have the image of Kevin Kline in "A Fish Called Wanda" in my mind now. "What do you call this one? I'm going to call her lunch. Heellloooo, lunch!" One of the most outrageous physically comedy scenes I've seen.

Shankar said...

In another fishy item, my former housemate Helen loved fish fingers. I mean loved fish fingers. Her then roommate made her a fish finger birthday cake one year. I kid you not.