Friday, August 31, 2007

Facing My Fears

If I had to name one personal trait, just one, that bothers me, it would be my overkill planning. I would make a great boyscout because I am always prepared. For anything.

I've got enough food to feed - at a moments notice - me for at least a week, a large family for 2 days, or a soon to be hibernating bear for an hour.

I've always got first aid supplies around. Well, except for the portable defibrillator. I'm still trying to get my hands on one of those.

I've always got gum. If MacGyver needed gum instead of duct tape, I'd be his girl.

Food. Did I already mention food? Yeah, I don't like being stuck without it. Take my food away and I'll claw at you so bad you'll need some gum to fix your shirt.

Point is, I plan so far in advance for any possible situation that I'm no longer capable of being spontaneous. In fact, I plan to be spontaneous. I'm a walking oxymoron. Or just a walking moron. (But at least I have my walking shoes.)

Which brings me to this weekend and the glorious 3 day holiday it is. I didn't plan to go anywhere or do anything special ~ just me and whatever movie I decided to rent.

But sister mentioned her plans to go to Nashville to visit a friend. I kinda, sorta, maybe asked if I could tag along. I have no reason to go visit except to just do it. Julia-Gulia and her old roommate were kind enough to 'invite' me. Bloggers, this is an accomplishment. The fact that I haven't had this trip planned since the 2002 Winter Olympics is huge. In fact, it's Gold Medal worthy. Admitting that I don't have a single item packed yet and we will leave in less than 12 hours is amazing. Of course, the planner in me has already started a mental list of items to pack or places to visit but nothing - nothing - is written down or set in stone.

Today's trip could very well be the first step to me being more flexible. Whoa. Maybe I should stretch so I don't pull a muscle.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Get it Write

I’m not the type of person that gets mad and when I do, it's over in a day or so. Today is one of those days. I'm upset regarding my passport.
I documented before that due to new passport laws, I missed an oversea adventure in Spain. Frustrating, but I got over it. My passport came back the middle of July but the information was so horribly scratched, I couldn't make out my birth date, passport number, or expiration. In addition, my name was misspelled. I had to send it back - on my dime - and wait a few more weeks.
Well, my passport returned again on August 19th. The scratches are fixed but my name is spelled wrong...again. I must have the most commonly misspelled name ever. I am tiffed that I have to pay - for the second time - to ship my passport back.

Do all forms take this long? If so, I think I’ll start submitting paperwork for my death certificate now because if this does kill me, heaven knows I want my name spelled right!

Monday, August 27, 2007

I'd Like To Buy A Vowel Please

My friend Krista had a baby 7 weeks ago. She and her husband moved a week before their son was born so I've only seen pictures of him on their blog. In one set of pictures, I commented that his outfit was pretty snazzy since his name was stitched across the front. I was finally able to see the little guy in person this weekend at a wedding reception we each attended. At one point, I was standing with Krista and two others as we admired Thatcher. For some reason he started to fuss. I stated that perhaps Thatcher was upset since his onsie wasn't mammogramed with his name.

* silence with awkward stares

"Charlotte, do you mean monogrammed?", yes. Excuse me while I go sit in the coroner...

Friday, August 24, 2007

Et tu, U2?

I fell in like with a guy in college who loved the band U2. That's all he wanted to talk about, listen to, read , watch, breathe, and I'm sure eat if U2 were edible. I wanted to make a good impression on him so I started to actually listen to the band and learn as much information as possible. I made it a life goal to attend a live concert.

Fast forward a few years. Despite my crush on U2-boy dwindling to nothing, my interest in the band continued and my desire to see them live was too much to quench. U2 had just released How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb and planned a tour which would stop in a nearby city. I determined, no matter how expensive tickets were, I was going. Finally the day arrived when tickets went on sale. I was online purchasing seats while some friends were in line buying more. Tickets sold out before noon. It was okay though since I was finally going to see U2 live!

Then, in May, I found out I was moving to Georgia.

The concert was in Salt Lake, Utah that coming December.

So I bought a round trip flight to Utah. I was serious about seeing this concert! I'm sure my new Georgia co-workers thought it a tad bizarre that I was so thrilled. It was all I wanted to talk about, read, google, or listen to. One day in November, my coworker Bo brought his 14 year old son into work. The son and I bonded over music. He told me about the bands he enjoyed and I told him about, ...well, U2.

Fast forward to now. The concert was great and worth every penny. I've continued working with Bo although I've not seen his son since. A few weeks ago Bo called me to say I owed him big time. I was confused so I asked for clarification.

Bo and his wife were in the kitchen one night discussing something serious. In the middle of the conversation, their son walked in and asked, "Dad, how is that one girl at the office? You know, the one that likes you too?"

Bo slept on the couch that night. I'm not sure how I owe him since I wasn't even there. Proves I have the capability to get others in trouble without even being with them. Or near them. Or even knowing where they live.

Watch could get fired for reading this blog.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Exhausting Rest

I didn't post on Monday. Sorry. I was too tired. I don't know what the problem is actually. Despite the typical early to bed, early to rise, hope it makes me really wealthy and wise schedule I stick to, I still seem to be caught in a desperate attempt to catch up on sleep. Monday night I went to bed at 9:50 instead of my normal 11:15 and woke up at 6:45 ~ an entire hour later than usual. In addition to my extreme fatigue, I had a strange bruise on my left thigh and my left shoulder was much tighter than normal although the covers on my bed indicated restful sleep.

What is the deal?

I can only think of one answer: I must be a crime fighter while I’m asleep. Years ago I was known to sleep talk and sleep walk so I assume I have taken the next step and now sleep fight. I think it’s obvious. Look at all the clues I’ve left myself:

  • Disheveled Hair: No matter how many times I brush before retiring to bed, I wake with tousled locks. No wonder! It’s hard to keep one’s hair manageable when one is a Sleep-Fighter!

  • Sweaty Hands: All the better to punch you with Mr. McCrime!

  • Bruises on Thigh: he got a lucky kick in, okay...

  • Sore Shoulder: I throw a mean lefty.

Which brings up a whole ‘nother problem. I desperately need some cuter pajamas. If I’m out sleep-fighting crime, I can’t wear mismatched or over sized tees and shorts anymore. A uniform is in order. I originally thought black since it’s slimming but considering it’s already dark out, that might be dangerous. The last thing the city needs is a crime-sleep-fighter hurt on the job. White is easier to see at night but those dirt and blood stains would be awful to wash out. Anyone know where I can find an outfit made entirely of bike reflectors?

Oh. Another question: Is it bad for me to sleep on the job? I mean, technically that IS when I’m at my best.

You know how to reach me. Shine the sign.

Wonder Woman by Day...Slumber Woman by Night!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Miss Taken

Miss Taken or Mistaken. I'm not sure which is most correct.

You see, I found out I'm married. Yes, yes, I have taken the plunge and I'm married. It all started so innocently. I was there. He was there. There was music and dancing. He asked for my hand and I took it. The music overcame me and I found myself winding round and round, in and out, twisting and turning. Oblivious to any spectators, I threw inhibitions to the wind and tossed my head back. When the music ended, I was informed I had just performed the marriage dance.

Oh. Miss-Taken and Chief-Contestant-So-You-Think-You-Can-Dance.

And here's my new sister in law Tiger Lily. She kept saying something about her friend Peter and never wanting to grow up. Not sure what that was all about.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Cheap Stuff is too Expensive

My 9 year old brother, Little Boy Blue, loves, LOVES to go to garage sales. Since we really aren't the type of family that gets up early Saturday to go rummage through other people's junk, I have no idea where his fascination originated. This past Saturday I made plans to run some early errands and asked Little Boy if he wanted to join me. He was so excited that he woke up on his own and got ready before I was done eating breakfast.

We finally left around 8:15. We didn't even make it out of the neighborhood before we saw two different garage sales. He really wanted to stop. At the first house we saw a sorcerer's hat that was a few sizes too small and a child's tent. The next house had some old shelves with various sport balls painted in patterns. Little Boy Blue is as athletic as I am - which means if the sport requires more skills than Paper/Rock/Scissors, I'm really not your girl. No sport ball shelves for us!

We took a break from the garage sales to run my errands. He was quick to point out all the sales we would pass on our return home. The first stop on the way back had various piles of clothes and junk. Little Boy Blue found a clear, plastic box filled with shredded paper and hay. He asked the lady what it was. She replied that is was a hamster cage. Little Boy Blue got SO excited. He turned to me with wide eyes and exclaimed, "Alright! Now all we need is a hamster!"

...uh, no.

I saw where this was headed. Sure, the tank was only $5 but then you gotta buy the hamster. And the food. And the wheel. And fill up the water. And change the paper. Pretty soon the little hamster is going to start whining because it's lonely. So hamster #2 comes along. Then you find out hamster #1 and hamster #2 are more than just friends and there's gonna be hamster #3, 4, and 5. Then you gotta get a hamster baby sitter and take hamster pictures and buy hamster baby food. Before long you'll be reading Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie every night after you do the hamster dance. That $5 is a little too steep for my budget.

We went back and bought the wizard hat for a quarter.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Strong and Purty at Thirty

Congratulations to the Parental Unit! This weekend marked their 30th anniversary. I'm sure when P2 asked Mama Mia to marry him (for the 2nd time) they had no idea what was to come.

But I'm sure even after 6 children, 8 cars, 3 states, 4 jobs, 1 bad perm, 3 different lengths of sideburns, bell bottoms going out of style, bell bottoms coming back in style, bell bottoms going back out of style, and 30 years later, they'd do it all over again.

This got me thinking. I'm 28. Say I got married tomorrow...which is highly unlikely...but pretend anyway. I'll be 56 before I've been married as long as I've been single. I'll be 78 when I hit the big Five Oh. My Golden Anniversary will be the year 2057. What do you suppose the world will be like then? I'm sure gold will have gone by the wayside years before. Perhaps the newest rage will be hybrid jewelry made from filtered electricity, dust from Saturn's surface, hair from a live phoenix, and organic rock.

Organic Rock. You may laugh but you probably laughed at bottled water when it was first introduced too. Just wait. One of these days rocks will be mass produced in China and you'll be hard pressed to get an organic cluster of sedimentary deposits.

Of course, I probably won't get married tomorrow. This means you still have time to collect rocks to sell later. Organic Rocks. It's gonna be big!

Friday, August 10, 2007

My 1000 th post!

Divided by 10 that is.

In honor of this accomplishment - at least in my mind - and since I was tagged by Clairissa, I am naming 100 things you may or may not know or want to know about me. In no particular order, except numerically, here I am:

1. I have a love/hate relationship with chocolate.
2. I was in a wreck and the airbag exploded. I think cars are safer without them. I had acid burns on my face for a week.
3. My favorite comedian would be a combination of Ellen DeGeneres and Jerry Seinfeld. But since that would be one ugly baby, I'll stick to watching them separately.
4. I have a 34 inch inseam. Sure guys like long legs but I'm the one who has to shave them!
5. I bought a cd last week and have listened to it completely over 10 times.
6. I take my shoes off at work. I love being barefoot.
7. I love rice milk.
8. I failed statistics in college. What are the chances of that happening?
9. My favorite number is 9.
10. I have a yellow belt in karate.
11. I love talking on the phone...literally for hours at a time.
12. I am one of the most non-committal people you will ever meet. Aside from a tv show and a song, I don't have favorites and I'm quite indecisive. Dating might also fall into this category.
13. Most mornings I get up at 5:45 so I can read before I go to work.
14. I tried to grow a garden this summer. My plant harvested a total of two peas.
15. I am technologically retarded. One of these days I'll figure out how to use an iPod.
16. I can't remember when I last used salt. I don't like it.
17. I would rather live near mountains than water.
18. Seinfeld is my absolute favorite show. I have seen every episode at least once.
19. Windows used to terrify me when I was younger. I was so scared a kidnapper would reach through and grab me that I would not go near windows after dark. This greatly limited the rooms at home I could enter after dusk.
20. I listen to NPR all the time.
21. I try to bike at least once a week.
22. I was vegetarian for two weeks.
23. I have a thing for bald guys. Forget Superman...give me Lex Luther!
24. I enjoy cooking.
25. I charged friends a quarter to come to my 25th birthday bash.
26. I have never been pulled over.
27. I speed every day.
28. I'm lucky I guess.
29. I'll be 29 on my next birthday.
30. I love magic tricks.
31. People call me cheap but I prefer to think I'm saving for a rainy day. And it's gonna be real rainy.
32. I still dress up at Halloween.
33. I can walk on stilts. It comes in handy when there's a really, really tall shelf.
34. I don't know all the words to my favorite song. I can hum with the best though.
35. I appeared on tv once.
36. I have also been on the radio.
37. I love window shopping.
38. I go swimming at least once a week.
39. I wish I understood the stock market.
40. I like my eyes.
41. I finally figured out what I want to do "when I grow up".
42. I tried out to be a model once but didn't make it. Guess I was too beautiful for what they needed.
43. I once made up an answer to the online "security question" my bank asked. Made for suspicious stares when I applied in person for another banking program and couldn't answer correctly. I advise against joking with bankers.
44. I had my credit card identity stolen once. When the robber found out how crazy I am, they gave "me" back.
45. My target weight is 145.
46. I love sudoku puzzles and minesweeper.
47. I have never enjoyed crossword puzzles.
48. I sucked on my fingers when I was little and had to have braces later to correct that.
49. I want to have Lasik surgery so I can camp out beneath the stars and actually see them.
50. I sing out loud in my car. I like to give other commuters something to laugh at.
51. I can roll my tongue. You would think this might come in handy but as of yet, it's not given me the advantage in any situation.
52. I currently weigh 152. ...but that's because I have big bones. And a big sugar tooth.
53. I got my ears pierced when I was 23.
54. I love Fall...the season, not the verb.
55. I can still sing the theme songs to Rescue Rangers, Tailspin, and Duck Tales.
56. I love massages. Even better when they are free.
57. I do not like the spice ginger. It's supposed to be very healthy. If uncontrollable gagging is healthy, then it's working.
58. I want to visit all 50 states before I die. Anyone up for a trip to Hawaii?!
59. I love formal events where I can wear heels and dangly earrings.
60. My toenails are always painted.
61. I didn't run the whole distance in my triathlon-only when people were taking pictures. I cartwheeled the rest.
62. Sometimes I'm not 100% truthful.
63. I like fresh air rather than air conditioning.
64. I check my email about 15 times a day.
65. I am horribly slow at emailing people back.
66. If I were stranded on an island and could only bring one thing, I would take a boat with GPS.
67. It's a turn off when a guy swears.
68. I enjoy children.
69. I won a game of online solitaire in 69 seconds once.
70. If the world were made up of Charlotta-love's, we would sit around all day just talking.
71. I have broken 2 bones. My right leg and right arm...guess I lean too much. I should have had a V8.
72. I slouch when I sit. I'm actually just relaxing my back muscles for hours at a time.
73. My favorite date is March 4th. It's a command...March Forth.
74. I'm still laughing about #73.
75. I love roller coasters...especially if they have loops and flips.
76. I do not like oysters. I know they are a delicacy but someone else can enjoy the slimy, gray, raw, gross, shellfish as it glides down their throat.
77. At some point, I have collected coins, stamps, stickers, flattened pennies, volks wagon miniatures, koala bears, and pencils.
78. I pay cash for almost all my purchases.
79. I would love to live in England. or Australia. or New Zealand. or Africa. or China. See, this whole none committal thing really gets me sometimes.
80. I got lost driving in Oklahoma once for three hours. My family has never let me forget it.
81. I laugh at least once a day. I find life humorous.
82. I love dancing. I didn't say I was good but it is fun.
83. Sports? Oh, there's a game tonight?
84. I get cold really easy. I wore a jacket to work yesterday...and I live in Georgia!
85. I am ticklish...only if I like the guy.
86. My sister's say I have a flat butt. I don't know. I can't really see back there.
87. Is the glass half empty or half full? I don't know - am I drinking or pouring?
88. I cheated once in 4th grade. I can still tell you the question on the test.
89. I chew gum religiously. I guess that makes my gum holier than yours.
90. I want to try acupuncture. Would that be considered holy also?
91. I love puns.
92. I prefer blue pens to black. That way I'm not racist.
93. When I get mad, I don't yell - I stop talking completely.
94. I am my parent's favorite child. They just won't admit it.
95. I prefer silver to gold. Unless we are talking coins in which case you can just give me all you want.
96. I read my horoscope regularly. I like to see how I can prove the stars wrong.
97. I don't like Hershey's chocolate.
98. I need to read more.
99. I'm almost done with this list.
100. The furthest I have ever driven a golf ball is 100 feet. Let's just say I have a huge handicap.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Boys will be Boys

This is the "Girl's Bathroom" at my house.

I guarantee anything you might need is in this room.

Here is the bathroom of a friend.

Are you thinking the same thing I'm thinking? It's ridiculous, huh. Seriously, just how hard is it to put the toilet seat down?! It's like he doesn't even care what the bathroom looks like. Tsk. Some people...

Monday, August 6, 2007

Best of the Best

Not many people can boast they met their best friend in first grade.

What?! You got something to say about my hair? Huh?! That's right...I didn't think so!

Not all friends decide to keep in touch through letters and phone calls when one moves away in fifth grade. There's nothing wrong with the Monkees...or dancing in the middle of the living room.

Not many friends have had Minnie Mouse ask if they were twins. Exclusive from the "Why did our parents let us leave looking like that!" file. And yes, that's a potato stamped shirt. When you finish with the potato letters, you not only have an uber cool 80's shirt but a painted potato ready for the extreme game of truth or dare.

Not all friends can sense "something is going on" even though they are states away in distance. From the glorious college dorm days.

Not all friends are like my bestest friend, Elke...I just got lucky!
I called Elke yesterday just to say hi. When I asked how she was doing, she responded, "Oh, just trying to get used to being 28!" I quickly thought, What is she talking about? Her birthday isn't until the first week of August. ...Oh shoot! I apologized and admitted I hadn't remembered. Since I am half a year older, I said, "They say the first thing to go is your memory..." She laughed. Not all friends are that forgiving. Elke, you are the best of the best.

Happy belated Birthday!

Friday, August 3, 2007


A bridge fell this week.

I've gone over so many bridges in my life. I was always excited to go over bridges when I was young. To this day I still hold my breath as I pass over.

I was watching a program last night that covered all the events of this tragedy. Who's fault was it? Why didn't someone listen to the reports that showed danger? Who decided that traffic should be limited to only two lanes until construction was completed? How come funds had prevented earlier repairs? Why did it take over five minutes for help to arrive?

The reporters didn't ask "How are the survivors?" or "How can I help?"

Let's build a bridge. Not the type vehicles travel over but one that brings people together again. To all those affected, my prayers are with you.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Mother Knows Best

I read on CNN that a tropical depression has strengthened into Tropical Storm Chantal. My initial response was a sigh of relief. No, not because of the impending storm - I've seen the damage that can follow and wouldn't wish that on anyone. My sigh was for personal reasons. Each year the Hurricane Council links a name to 21 letters of the alphabet. To differentiate, anytime a depression becomes a storm, the next name on the list is assigned. Again this year, the letter C is not represented by my name.


So I visited my online best friend, Google, to find out if the seas have ever experienced the wrath of Charlotte. I wasn't too surprised to find my name has never been assigned. I mean, come on, I am the peaceful one at my house. If anything, some committee should name sunsets after me. or class 1 rivers. or country roads... Oh, and speaking of names, how does one end up on the Hurricane Council? I have friends who fret for months over the name of their future child. This council has to come up with 21 names every year. Not a job for the indecisive. And one more thing, how come they don't use names like Charika, Cedric, Cornelius, or Candy? Those are good C names for good people. I bet those C-peeps feel left out.

Ah, I digress. I ran a quick search using my sibling's names. The results were split 50/50. Some of us more mature siblings do not share names with any type of natural disaster. The other half do - which makes sense. When situations at home become cloudy and an argument is in the forecast, winds can reach a speed of 65 words per minute and the barometer can blow a gasket with all the pressure buildup. Not to mention the rise in humidity due to flying spittle.

In 2001, the year Shelly turned 13, the seas expressed their concern with crashing waves and strong winds. In 2012 P2 will have his turn at bay. Perhaps that year I'll get married and the storm will rage about 2.5 seconds after I hand my dad the bill. The most fitting, though, was Tropical Storm Dean in 1983.

Let's see...I was born in '79...TheDeanInc is two years younger than me...that puts him born in 1981...Tropical Storm Dean was in '83 which is two years later...TheDeanInc would have been in his terrible twos...yep, Mother is always right. Mother Nature in this case.