Friday, February 29, 2008

Freedom

The 13th amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America states, "neither slavery nor involuntary servitude...shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction."

Allow Little Boy Blue to demonstrate.

It rained here in Georgia earlier this week. Just as P2 and LBB went to leave, the rain increased and started to pour on our area. Instead of complaining that he would have to run through the rain to class, LBB quietly went upstairs to get his rain gear.

From across the hall, he asked me, "Do y ou think I will keep dry if I wear this?"

Then he walked in my room.

I laughed. I tried not to but he caught me off guard. I assured him he would be dry.

He is no slave to fashion; no slave to social norms or expectations.

There are times I wish I still had that freedom.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Hyponatremia

I introduced you to G.A.B. on Monday. The instructions said my boyfriend would grow if fully submerged in water. Being a sweet girlfriend, I placed Gabby in the tub one evening while I ran some errands. I came back a few hours later - not much had changed. That's when I realized the process took 3 - 10 days. I relocated Gabby to a vase - hoping the same vase would later be filled with flowers from him as a token of reciprocated love.

Thursday passed.

Friday passed.

Saturday was Day 4. Gabby was looking great. I took some time that morning to talk with and learn more about him. I discovered his great grandfather, Bubba Licious, was from Texas - so we talked about that awhile. Unfortunately for us, I had to cut the conversation short. I had plans to spend the day in Atlanta and knew he needed more time to soak. I said goodbye and plunked him back in the vase. I reminded him that I would be home later in the evening and insisted we take some photos together.

*sniff

If only I'd known that drinking was still a temptation. If only I'd known he'd barely been 'on the wagon' since November. If only I'd known he hadn't been attending his H2O Anonymous meetings...

Hi honey, I'm home!


Honey, did you hear me? Hello?

Gabby?


GABBY?!?!?


G.A.B.
February 2008
May he Rest In Pieces

Monday, February 25, 2008

G.A.B.

Hmmm, what's this?
It's a birthday present to me from Little Boy Blue.
Yes...we do have wrapping paper. I guess he just didn't want to use any.

It's something red. It looks like a little man.
A 'Grow a Boyfriend' to be exact ~ G.A.B. for short. Oh, and he is short.

Real funny. Reeeeeeeallllll funny.


Mm hmm. Just as funny as the 'Grow a Bling' Julia Gulia gave me a few years ago.


Family, is my birthday a joke to you?

Honestly, it's like I'm the only serious one around here.

Mmmffpphfftt.......

*to be continued...

Friday, February 22, 2008

IT

It has started. I tried so hard to avoid it. I stayed away from people when it was all they could talk about. I ate the foods and drank the fluids that help it go away. I washed my hands of it. Somehow, being surrounded by it, my body finally gave up and let it in.

And I'm ready for it to be over.

I'm ready to breathe in and breathe out without it causing me to cough.
I'm ready to sleep without it waking me up to go blow my nose.
I'm ready for it not to make my voice sound weird.
I'm ready for my shoulders to not ache from it.
I'm ready for it to not make my throat so scratchy.
I'm ready to stop feeding it cough drops.
I'm ready for bright lights or loud noises to not aggravate it.
I'm ready to taste flavors that it has numbed.

I'm ready.

Who else has it?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hey, Leggo my Lego

Did I mention Little Boy Blue turned 10 last week? I didn't? Shame on me. His birthday and mine are only five days apart with Valentines in the middle. Talk about busy!

Now that I have a chance to tell you more about Little Boy - and since I finally downloaded the pictures from his party - he loves legos. Loves, loves, loves legos. Using the blocks for his theme, he completely planned his birthday party from the red, blue, and yellow plates to the "Guess the number of Lego blocks in the jar without going over" game. Mama Mia even proved her ultimate coolness by constructing a Lego pinata from a cereal box and plastic cups.

So, in honor of Little Boy Blue's birthday, and since he really enjoys math, I thought I'd share his party with you using an arithmetic problem.

1 birthday boy
+ several sugar cookies(his face is going to freeze like that one day. For all I know, it already has.)
+ 1 birthday pie
+ 1 pinata
+ lots of pinata candy(ever wonder why we call him Little Boy Blue?)

= 1 very, very,
very tired Birthday Boy!Aww, he looks so sweet. Must be all the sugar he ate.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Resigning

I was a cashier during college and a pet peeve was customers who continued their cell phone conversations while at the register. For this reason, I will either end my call or ask the person on the other end to hold when I check out.

The other night I was in line behind three carts at Wally-World. The cashier was scheduled to go on break soon so she turned the register light off indicating the line was closed after my cart. While waiting, my bestest friend Elke called to tell me some exciting news. I chatted with her, hung up, and continued waiting. The line moved rather slowly since the three carts in front were each filled to the brim. Realizing I still had some waiting time, I called Mama Mia quickly to relay a message. Occasionally I had to tell some stranger trying to squeeze in behind me that the line was closed.

My turn finally came. In an attempt to start a casual conversation I joked,
"I bet you're glad that I'm the last person in your line so you can go on break now."
"Mm huh. My light has been off for over 30 minutes."
"I bet. That couple had quite a bit in their cart."
"Mm huh. And you weren't very helpful either. Miss Chitter - Chatter on her cell phone...I really needed your help to tell people my line was closed but I couldn't get your attention."
"Hey, I told about 3 or 4 people."
"Yeah, and I told 10!"
"Well, my best friend just got engaged ten minutes ago. Of course I had to get the details!"
"You get excited about people getting married? Well...I suppose you ARE still young."

Whoa. I've never felt inadequate in my role as customer but since I apparently performed so low on my Wal-Mart Volunteer Performance Evaluation, I humbly submit my two - week notice effective immediately. I only hope Target recognizes my potential.

Friday, February 15, 2008

6 Degrees...kind of

There will be a slight change to this blog on Monday. It might be too subtle to notice unless you really pay attention. Those with keen eyes might notice future posts written with a new level of maturity. Okay...maybe not the content so much but more so the age of the auther since I'll turn 29 this weekend.

If that news wasn't exciting enough on it's own, guess who shares my birthdate ~ Michael Jordan and Paris Hilton. That's right - my birthday is lumped together with a basketball legend and a socialite. Thinking we must have something more in common than just an Aquarius status, I determined to find just how similar we really are.

Happy Birthday Michael and Paris!

And Happy (late) Valentine's Day to everyone else.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

A Little Stressed

New Year's Goal #5 : Train for and complete my 2nd triathlon.

That goal is currently on hold. One day I was running at the gym and felt a dull pain on my right foot as though I'd tied my shoe too tight. I loosened the laces and continued running. The pain increased so I ended my run early and headed home. I set up an appointment with a local podiatrist and met with the doctor last Monday. I watched as he placed the x-rays on the light and realized I knew all the bones.

I had to brag.

"I'm in an anatomy class and we just studied the foot. I know all those bones."
"Oh really? What's this one called?"
"That would be my navicular."
"Very good! And this one?"
"The calcaneus."

"I'm impressed."
...
"So, uh, what's wrong with my foot?"
"You have a stress fracture right here."

I looked at the x-ray but couldn't see the fracture. I took his word though since my foot hurt. He put me on a strict exercise plan and by that I mean NO running or biking for a couple weeks. I had to wear a glorified ace bandage for 4 days. Although the bandage was moist when he wrapped my foot, it dried and became rather stiff. I wasn't allowed to get it wet. That turned my showers into a Barnum & Bailey Balancing Act.


Really though, I'm trying to start a new trend. Michael Jackson wore one glove - what stops me from wearing just one foot wrap? I'm bringing stretchy back.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Click and Clack

Do you drive a car that seems to always have a problem?

Are you on a tight budget?

Well, I'm here today to share a car maintenance tip for those living on a shoestring budget. In fact, you only need $2 and a pair of scissors.

See that Check Engine light? It's been glaring at me from the dash. The rest of my panel is blue so that neon orange really throws off the whole color scheme. Since turning my car on and off for 30 minutes didn't reset the light, I had to resort to, uh, other methods.

1. Purchase roll of black electrical tape.

2. Cut small piece size of said orange light.

3. Place over light.


4. Problem solved.


I've found this method also works rather well on the blinking "NEW VOICE MAIL" light on my office phone.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Lucky Me!

I took my car in for it's quarterly oil change recently. The auto shop is just across the street from work so I can actually be productive while I wait. This particular afternoon I received a call from the shop's receptionist.

"Ma'am, your something* belt needs replacing."
"Is that what causes the awful squeal each time I start my car?"
"Yes."
"Go ahead and replace that. My short term fix of turning the radio up louder wasn't working anymore."

So I shelled out the cash and had the belt replaced.

That Friday I headed out to meet with some friends. Mid route, my car started making a horrible thumpTHUMPthumpTHUMPthumpTHUMP sound. I didn't stop because it was dark and I was almost to my destination. I cringed and silently hoped I would make it. I did arrive and noted that the sound had stopped. A brief glance under the hood revealed nothing.

The next day I told P2 about the noise. He looked and found that my belt - the newly replaced one - had split in two. I'm no car expert - in fact, I'm no car anything - but I don't think having two belts where there should only be one is a good thing. I made a mental note to take the car back to the auto shop on Monday and have them replace the faulty belt.


Sunday I went to church. No big surprise there. However, coming out of the building and walking to my car I saw something shiny glinting from my rear tire. As mentioned above, I'm no car expert - or tire expert - but shiny objects should only be on jewelry or prom dresses from the 80's. I knelt down and found a screw embedded in my tire grooves.


Boy, aren't I the fortunate one! ...and don't think the posts regarding my car are done. The luck continues!

* I don't remember the name of the belt and the receipt is in the other room. I'm too lazy to get that information.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Super Tuesday

Today I'm super stressed about a super hard test tomorrow. I'll be super busy trying to study super hard.

No wonder it's called Super Tuesday. ...but couldn't it be renamed to something like Sans Exams Day perhaps? That sure would help me out.