Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Lists ran through my head,
Of tasks not yet finished.
My heart filled with dread.
There were stockings to stuff,
And presents to buy,
Cookies to bake,
And ribbons to tie.
Parties yet to attend,
Christmas cards not addressed,
Everything must be perfect;
I was rather obsessed.
When what to my open inbox did appear?
Yet another email wishing me holiday cheer.
Bah Humbug! I'm busy!
No time for your fun.
Contact me next week,
By then I'll be done.
My time is all scheduled.
I've no time to stop.
I must stay focused,
Or all plans will flop.
No phone calls,
To the store, then home, and back to the mall.
Dash this way, dash that way, dash away all.
The store clerk said 'Thank you'
And gave me a smile.
I began to feel...festive.
Boy, that took awhile!
Christmas was coming
And I'd nearly missed it!
I'd been too busy rushing
To stop and enjoy it.
The family and friends
With which I'd been blessed,
Had true Christmas spirit
While I sat and stressed.
I had fresh perspective;
A new Christmas goal:
I'd be friendly and nice -
Earn no stocking coal.
It's people like you
That I hold so dear.
You're a present to me
As Christmas comes near.
So to all of my friends,
In cyber space or near,
Merry Christmas to all,
And a Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I mean, look, they even tell you how to lie after the snake bite. How informative is that?!Speaking of bites...
Anyone know how to get bitten by a vampire?
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I was downtown running some errands one day and decided to get a bite to eat. I placed my order and gave my name to the cashier.
I sat and waited. Looked around at the other customers. Watched some television.
And heard my name butchered over the intercom.
“Sure-la? Cher? Shauna?”
I turned and clarified, “Charlotte?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s what this says.”
I got my food and looked at the receipt.
As in the onion?
Hi. My name is Shalot. Don't come too close. I'll make you cry.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I was driving through a neighborhood and stumbled upon a house with not only an Obama sign but also a McCain banner as well. I'm happy that they each are voting for who they think will do best, but I think this couple is about to begin a 4 year-long "I told you so..." debate.
They each are taking a stance, and that's what's important. In the words of T.I., it's America - you can vote however you like.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
That means Halloween.
And Halloween decorations.
Someone around here loves Halloween decorations. In particular, witches. Can you guess who?
Me? Well, no. Pumpkins are more my thing.
Little Boy Blue? No. Not him.
P2? No. Here’s a clue, SHE really likes witches.
Johnny Cherie? Nope.
Julia Gulia? Witches really aren’t her thing either.
Shelly Belly? Nah, not so much.
You get one more guess and if you get it wrong, MAMA MIA (hint, hint) is going to summon her ‘friends’ to put a hex on you.
You guessed Mama Mia! Yes. And just in time I might add…
A main ingredient for her potion includes the boot from a witch. She was halfway there!Lucky you!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Speaking of weddings, I received a proposal.
Yes, the marriage kind!
When am I getting married? Well, there's a few complications.
Complications? For starters, I need to know his name.
No, I don't know his name. It happened so quickly.
No! I didn't meet him on some random dating website. Just listen...
Look, do you want to hear the story or not?
Okay then. So a few years ago my sister, Johnny Cherie, gave me a paper weight for my birthday. It looks just like a solitaire engagement ring. I took it to work and it proved to be a great conversation starter. One weekend, one of the office suites next to us had an attempted robbery. The county sent over two police men to check for damage. Since our office shares a back hallway with our neighbors, the cops came to our suite as well. I assured them that we had looked through the office and nothing was damaged or missing. As the cops turned to leave, the ring caught the attention of one officer.
"Wow, that's a nice ring!"
"It is, thank you. I'm just waiting for the guy that comes with it."
To my surprise, he picked up the ring, dropped to one knee, and proposed.
I was speechless.
I usually have, as the name suggests, a lotta thoughts sprinting through my mind but at that moment, I had absolutely no thought, no idea, and no clue how to respond.
So I blushed.
And he laughed. He put the ring back on my desk and walked out. Out of the office and out of my life.
Um, Mr. Officer? Hello? Were you serious? Hello? "I do." Can you hear me? Mr. Officer?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Moral of the story: Always have a toolbox nearby. Especially if you plan to attend church.