Happy New Year

Reasons why I loved Christmas.
Incidently, the same reasons why the New Year will be difficult.

Oh man. Christmas was sweet! The type of sweet that melts in your mouth and then clogs your arteries. Oh blessed, sweet, corn syrupy Christmas. I will miss you.

Candy Land

I used to work for a company that held seminars for people interested in Real Estate. I was on the phone with a customer one day and they asked, "Do you realize the knowledge you have at your fingertips?!" I awkwardly admitted I had never attended a seminar or looked through any material. The customer, completely amazed at my lack of interest, refrained from scolding me and I mentally committed to learn the tricks of the trade. The knowledge I left with wouldn't qualify me as an instructor but it is enough to appreciate these fine works of gingerbread houses - well, graham cracker anyway.

FOR SALE: 1 bedroom; 1 bath; snow capped roof; mint brick; licorice door frame; nerd paneling; gumdrop bushes. Complimentary roof opening for summer breeze. Total Fat: 9G Calories: 360 Market Price: $2.61 Nice Neighborhood. Call Muffin Man (on Drury Lane) for more details.

FOR SALE: Modified Double-wide; 2 bedroom; 1.5 bath; gummi bear insulated roof; licorice piping door, window, and walkway; cookie/snow capped side decal; minty walls; m&m garden. Total Fat: 11G Calories: 398 Market Price: $4.23 Able to deliver. Call Little Debbie for details.

FOR SALE: Abandoned cookie house in woods. Great fixer-upper project for ambitious owner. 1 bedroom; 1 bath; gumdrop grass; gummi bear adorned lawn (mass graveyard?); licorice trunk in roof for potential fire escape or tree swing; house entirely filled with skittles, gummi bears, and m&ms for midnight snacks; child delight. Total Fat: 21G Calories: 618 Market Price: $6.29 Call former occupants - Hansel & Gretel for details. They prefer phone interviews - something about breadcrumbs and witches.

I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Redneck that is.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

at least one present comes in a Halloween Harvest bag.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

at least one present is wrapped in a garbage bag.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

you receive a gift wrapped in a shopping bag - and not even the store the gift came from!

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

any duct tape is used.

Hope you each had a wonderful Christmas be it White or Redneck!

dic·tion·ar·y

pre·dict'a·ble -adjective capable of being foretold Charlotta's poses, taken over a year apart, were predictable.

re·la·ted -adjective associated; connected It was obvious the two sisters were related.

In Love

Julia-Gulia and I enjoyed a quick road trip to Charleston, South Carolina this weekend. I've been there before but wanted JG to visit at least once before she leaves again for school in January. We were able to enjoy some shopping, the coast, a break from home obligations, and even the cool, windy weather.

Oh, I forgot to tell you one major detail. I met the man of my dreams! He's tall - a must if I continue to wear boots, dark - bronze from the sun, and handsome. He very strong - his muscles are rock hard. He loves to travel - mostly by sea, and is very outdoorsy. He is fond of pets - especially parrots. He is rich and has a great eye for hoop earrings made of gold. Oh, speaking of great eyes, his are blue, though he has bad eyesight. I also have poor eyes so our future children are doomed but I'm fortunate my eyes aren't as bad as his - he usually requires an eye patch.

We just clicked. I can't explain it. Words weren't needed. I could tell by the way he looked at me that we were meant to be.

I found out he owns his own ship so I'm sure I'll document our vacations on this blog in the recent future.

Hey, hands off sista!