Monday, July 21, 2008

The Record of Charlottalove

While blog surfing once, I stumbled upon a blog documenting some home repairs. The writer likened remodeling projects to the 'begat' chapters in Genesis. Just as the genealogical list goes on verse after verse, home repairs seem to never end. Introducing, The Record of Charlottalove.
1. For behold, I, Charlottalove, did desire a new bathroom.
2. And the family left for the land of California last Wednesday.
3. And the bathroom project commenced Wednesday night.
4. And behold the family did not know and the bathroom would be a surprise when they returned.
5. And I did have confidence that I could finish before they returned and I began.
6. And I did remove the wallpaper.
7. Removing the wallpaper begat spackling the wall.

8. Spackling begat sanding.
9. Sanding begat (cough, cough) lots of dust and a scratchy throat.
10. Dust begat sweeping.
11. And the wall paper could not be removed behind the toilet.
12. And the toilet was moved.
13. And the water and not been completely drained. The water begat mopping.
14. And I began to like the new chair in the kitchen and had a vision. Behold, the bathroom would be an unfinished pantry.
15. And I calmed down.
16. And I saw the pile of colors on the counter top. And behold I did begin to have a headache.
17. And it came to pass that I could not decide on a color. And the colors were many. And I still have not decided.
18. And behold, I have taken time to rethink my decision to redo the bathroom and I will not redo the floor.
19. For behold, my mind can not comprehend what that will begat.
20. And I, Charlottalove, make an end of this record until tonight after work.
21. For behold, that is when the project will continue.
22. And I shall begin painting which, in the beginning, was my only desire.

18 comments:

Rachel and her Brasileiros said...

I love this. so clever. bravo.

Shankar said...

Genesis 1:31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.

So He said that on only the sixth day, but after all, He is God. It may take you a wee while longer than six days, but I'm sure when the folks return, they will also say that it is very good.

Bone said...

And she saw the toilet water, that it was bad.

So was the Bible sort of the first blog?

Aaron: "Yo Mo, you gotta see this golden calf I just made."
Moses: "Dude, I can't be bothered everytime you make an graven image. This is exactly why you need a blog."

Beth said...

"Work" without end...
Amen.

I admire both your persistence and this brilliant post!

churchlady said...

thy family shall be at my home thursday...doth not they check this blog whilst they are away from home?

Charlotta-love said...

Rachel: I hope the finished project is just as clever. Thanks.

Shankar: Well, today is day 5.

Bone: This comment made me laugh out loud. Aaron having a blog... ahahaha...

Beth: Oh, this project will end!

churchlady: My family knowest now. I had to ask where a certain tool (read: electric sander) was located in the garage. Thou mayest show them the blog. And tell them I sayest hello.

Saule Cogneur said...

Oh the woes of home improvement... you'll always find two new things to do for every one thing you fix. There's certainly something to be said for ignorance and conveniently placed posters.

Mike said...

And the dust does runneth off across the entire house, hence the need for curtains in every turn of the hall. LOL!

Jared and Katy said...

Woah I can't wait to see "after" pictures. I remember when I painted our house....that was a chore!

Coordination Queen said...

What color did you pick? I hope we get to see the final product.

Melissa said...

You are my hero! I can't believe what you CAN'T do.

Dorky Dad said...

"And then an Angel of the Lord appeared and said, 'Have no fear! For the Lord Most High is with you. Behold, you shall go to the large box dressed in blue. And between the stacks of building materials and riding lawn mowers you shall see a wall of colors. And the Lord commands you to look at the green colors and choose Light Adam Jade. And you shall paint your bathroom in that color, for it is good.'"

Julie said...

Oh, the joy you bring my day...well night actually!!!

PS) I really need your casserole recipe from Bunco!

Christy said...

Ha ha ha! Charlottalove, you make me laugh!

Celine & Cameron said...

Can't wait to see the "after" pictures!

Charles said...

If you have not already placed the toilet in its original position, you will want to remember not to use the same wax that it was on. You will want to get a new one, or you might end up replacing that floor anyway, among other things. And don't worry, it comes off your fingers.

Above Average Joe said...

Good for you to tackle the job.

I think you borrowed the same chair I use to do my indoor painting projects.

Bekah Davis said...

Oh my gosh, that was the funniest thing I have read in forever! I hear I about the not being able to get behind the toilet..I'm impressed you could move it by yourself, they are really heavy!