Flashback to Reality

Night school will put a damper on your social life. Not only have I neglected friends and family, I missed the final episodes of The Office, Lost, American Idol, and The Bachelor. While this doesn't bother me now, I was a reality show junkie several years ago. I learned business strategy with The Apprentice. I found courage to sing out loud with American Idol. I cringed during Fear Factor.

...and I fell in love every season with The Bachelor. In spring of 2004, a football player by the name of Jesse Palmer won my heart. I didn't receive the final rose but we bonded. Uh, well, kind of...

Journal Entry dated April 20, 2004

Yesterday I came home from work sick at 2:30. I feel asleep from 3-6:30. And this is how I know I am way too addicted to reality shows...The Bachelor especially. Since I was sick when I went to sleep, in my dream I was sick also. In my dream, I was a contestant on The Bachelor. I missed the rose ceremony because I was sick and couldn't get out of bed. When I woke up (in my dream), Jesse had placed a bouquet of roses by my door inviting me to stay for the next round.

Jesse, whatdaya say we give our love another go around. I finish school next Thursday. You free on Friday? I can even pretend to like football.

Hello?

Jesse?

Reality Bites

I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since January. I was quite excited since I’ve had two major interruptions to my workout routine. There was my Anatomy class, which took more of my social life than I anticipated, followed by a brief encounter with a stress fracture. I waited until the doctor said I could run again but realized since my final was approaching with little less than three weeks to prepare, I should wait a little longer to test the healed foot.

The final was yesterday therefore last night was my anticipated gym night. I’m sure normal people would celebrate by going to dinner, or a movie, or not going out but I’m different. I wanted to go running.

My gym has 10 - 12 TVs mounted to the wall so runners, stair steppers, or cyclists can watch programs while they exercise. Last night, it seemed that each TV was tuned to a different reality show. I thought the networks would run out of ideas years ago. Survivor, Big Brother, Real World, and the Bachelor grabbed the media’s attention. Oh, it's just a fad. But years later we’ve gone through Newly Weds, Till Death Do Us Part, The Osmonds, Iron Chef, Wife Swap, Dancing with the Stars, and countless others. I’m not good at predicting fads apparently. And I thought…

What if I had a reality TV show? I ruled out the relationship theme. Bachelor, Bachelorette, Average Joe, and A Shot at Love have covered every angle. I also don’t want to drink pureed pig feet, lie in a vat of mice, or eat a live spider so Survivor won’t, shall we say, survive. And my last name isn’t Simpson so I’m not forcing anyone to watch my family assist my band career or my first attempt at marriage.

The reality is that I go to work Monday through Friday. I’m a secretary for a construction agency and I’m bored at work. I check facebook. I blog. I balance my checkbook. I email.

So here’s my idea for the show: I take 5 contestants. They each get one day of the week. Whoever can make it through the day without dying of boredom wins. The catch, of course, is that they will not have access to the internet. The computer will only have three screens to switch between: Word, Excel, and the Standard or Scientific Calculator.

The winner gets my job. How's that for reality.