I have spent this past week looking for a summer job. I finally broke down and went to a temp agency. As part of the application process, I had to write a paragraph about my most recent experience with technology using 100 words or less. I decided I would write about my new purchase of a smart phone even though I decided to return it as I balanced my finances. I wrote something like this:
I recently bought a smart phone. What makes a smart phone smart? I was able to track expenses, email, listen to music, and flip through hundreds of photos with just the swipe of a finger. My connection to the world literally fit in my back pocket. The only dumb part was my timing. I purchased the phone after my job with the University ended. As I reviewed my finances, I realized I had to return the phone. How has my week without my smart phone gone? It really smarts.
I was particularly pleased with my usage of the verb 'smarts' at the end. I felt it really tied the paragraph together. The agent reviewed my writing sample and called me to her desk.
"Charlotta, let's review your last sentence. I think you meant to say 'It was really smart'."
"No. I was actually going for a play on words. See, the word 'smarts' actually means to sting or to hurt."
"So, it should read 'It was smart'?"
"No. 'It smarts.' You know, 'it hurts, it stings'."
"Oh. Do you want to change it to 'It hurts'?"
"No. Does it not make sense that I'm making a play on words?"
"I just think you need a verb. 'It is smart'."
"Okay, let's change it."
We changed it to "Taking it back was smart."
I find it funny that I was made to feel dumb over the word smart.
And that, my friends, really smarts.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Adieu, I Do
I think there was something in the water this summer. Every weekend, it seemed, was some one's wedding, engagement, bridal shower, or rehearsal dinner. No matter which direction I looked, it was wedding, wedding, wedding.
Speaking of weddings, I received a proposal.
Yes, the marriage kind!
When am I getting married? Well, there's a few complications.
Complications? For starters, I need to know his name.
No, I don't know his name. It happened so quickly.
No! I didn't meet him on some random dating website. Just listen...
Look, do you want to hear the story or not?
Okay then. So a few years ago my sister, Johnny Cherie, gave me a paper weight for my birthday. It looks just like a solitaire engagement ring. I took it to work and it proved to be a great conversation starter. One weekend, one of the office suites next to us had an attempted robbery. The county sent over two police men to check for damage. Since our office shares a back hallway with our neighbors, the cops came to our suite as well. I assured them that we had looked through the office and nothing was damaged or missing. As the cops turned to leave, the ring caught the attention of one officer.
"Wow, that's a nice ring!"
"It is, thank you. I'm just waiting for the guy that comes with it."
To my surprise, he picked up the ring, dropped to one knee, and proposed.
I was speechless.
I usually have, as the name suggests, a lotta thoughts sprinting through my mind but at that moment, I had absolutely no thought, no idea, and no clue how to respond.
So I blushed.
And he laughed. He put the ring back on my desk and walked out. Out of the office and out of my life.
Um, Mr. Officer? Hello? Were you serious? Hello? "I do." Can you hear me? Mr. Officer?
...adieu.
Speaking of weddings, I received a proposal.
Yes, the marriage kind!
When am I getting married? Well, there's a few complications.
Complications? For starters, I need to know his name.
No, I don't know his name. It happened so quickly.
No! I didn't meet him on some random dating website. Just listen...
Look, do you want to hear the story or not?
Okay then. So a few years ago my sister, Johnny Cherie, gave me a paper weight for my birthday. It looks just like a solitaire engagement ring. I took it to work and it proved to be a great conversation starter. One weekend, one of the office suites next to us had an attempted robbery. The county sent over two police men to check for damage. Since our office shares a back hallway with our neighbors, the cops came to our suite as well. I assured them that we had looked through the office and nothing was damaged or missing. As the cops turned to leave, the ring caught the attention of one officer.
"Wow, that's a nice ring!"
"It is, thank you. I'm just waiting for the guy that comes with it."
To my surprise, he picked up the ring, dropped to one knee, and proposed.
I was speechless.
I usually have, as the name suggests, a lotta thoughts sprinting through my mind but at that moment, I had absolutely no thought, no idea, and no clue how to respond.
So I blushed.
And he laughed. He put the ring back on my desk and walked out. Out of the office and out of my life.
Um, Mr. Officer? Hello? Were you serious? Hello? "I do." Can you hear me? Mr. Officer?
...adieu.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
IMDb Files
In a recent post, I admitted that I'm not the best when it comes to filing. Well, I've had several opportunities at work to practice. Two of my coworkers, Ted and Bo, are overseeing a project. Occasionally they need to buy additional items to ensure a quality building. The project manager asked me to make a file for their receipts.
I secretly wish Bo's name was 'Bill' but the joke still works. I'm patiently waiting for the day someone notices my system.
Consider it done.
Who says filing is boring?
I secretly wish Bo's name was 'Bill' but the joke still works. I'm patiently waiting for the day someone notices my system.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Hit Me
Have a card. Have two or three cards. In fact, have as many cards as you like. I have 500.
Business cards that is.
Each and every last one with my name and email spelled incorrectly.
I've worked for this construction agency nearly three years so when I learned I would finally receive business cards, I was giddy. I was on the phone with corporate a week later verifying my name and company information. All was correct.
The cards came while I was away at camp and I was excited to receive them on Monday. A coworker and I were discussing feedback on a recent situation when I realized all 500 cards were worthless. I bit my lip and stopped my comment mid sentence.
I've had more trouble with my last name. My passport came back twice with my last name misspelled, clients will call 2 and sometimes 3 times to say their emails to me - which includes my last name - bounce back, and now 500 business cards.
If only I could find a guy with the same wrong last name. I could marry into my business card.
What's in a name? Obviously not the right letters.
Business cards that is.
Each and every last one with my name and email spelled incorrectly.
I've worked for this construction agency nearly three years so when I learned I would finally receive business cards, I was giddy. I was on the phone with corporate a week later verifying my name and company information. All was correct.
The cards came while I was away at camp and I was excited to receive them on Monday. A coworker and I were discussing feedback on a recent situation when I realized all 500 cards were worthless. I bit my lip and stopped my comment mid sentence.
I've had more trouble with my last name. My passport came back twice with my last name misspelled, clients will call 2 and sometimes 3 times to say their emails to me - which includes my last name - bounce back, and now 500 business cards.
If only I could find a guy with the same wrong last name. I could marry into my business card.
What's in a name? Obviously not the right letters.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Wake-Up Call
I am tired!
Going to school part time while working full time has started to take a toll on my body. I won't complain though. There are others with far more demanding schedules than mine that still manage to balance school and life. But boy, I am tired!
Yesterday morning was a daze. I answered phones and gave information but my mind was too tired to concentrate. Menial tasks I typically finish quickly took additional time and effort to complete. I was struggling. Noon finally arrived. Since someone has to man the phones, or in my case woman the phones, while the guys are at lunch, I stay in the office until they return at 1. The phone rang around 12:15. Groggily I answered:
Good Afternoon. This is Charlotte.
Hi Charlotte. This is ___ calling for Mark.
He's at lunch right now. Could I help you?
Perhaps. I wanted to send a construction quote for the project you have open right now.
No problem. Let me get your full name and company information.
He provided the company information.
Sir, what was your name again?
Oh right. What were we talking about? You making me dinner?
Not until I know your name.
Right. It's ___.
Thanks. I'll let Mark know you called when he returns from lunch.
Well I'm going to call back anyway. ...that means I'll get to talk to you again.
Riiiight. In a way, he was exactly what I needed. His comments jolted me awake. I didn't have time to think about being tired for the remainder of the afternoon. Thank you stranger for calling. My employer appreciated the results.
Remember to enter your name for the 200th post contest.
Going to school part time while working full time has started to take a toll on my body. I won't complain though. There are others with far more demanding schedules than mine that still manage to balance school and life. But boy, I am tired!
Yesterday morning was a daze. I answered phones and gave information but my mind was too tired to concentrate. Menial tasks I typically finish quickly took additional time and effort to complete. I was struggling. Noon finally arrived. Since someone has to man the phones, or in my case woman the phones, while the guys are at lunch, I stay in the office until they return at 1. The phone rang around 12:15. Groggily I answered:
Good Afternoon. This is Charlotte.
Hi Charlotte. This is ___ calling for Mark.
He's at lunch right now. Could I help you?
Perhaps. I wanted to send a construction quote for the project you have open right now.
No problem. Let me get your full name and company information.
He provided the company information.
Sir, what was your name again?
Oh right. What were we talking about? You making me dinner?
Not until I know your name.
Right. It's ___.
Thanks. I'll let Mark know you called when he returns from lunch.
Well I'm going to call back anyway. ...that means I'll get to talk to you again.
Riiiight. In a way, he was exactly what I needed. His comments jolted me awake. I didn't have time to think about being tired for the remainder of the afternoon. Thank you stranger for calling. My employer appreciated the results.
Remember to enter your name for the 200th post contest.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Reality Bites
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time since January. I was quite excited since I’ve had two major interruptions to my workout routine. There was my Anatomy class, which took more of my social life than I anticipated, followed by a brief encounter with a stress fracture. I waited until the doctor said I could run again but realized since my final was approaching with little less than three weeks to prepare, I should wait a little longer to test the healed foot.
The final was yesterday therefore last night was my anticipated gym night. I’m sure normal people would celebrate by going to dinner, or a movie, or not going out but I’m different. I wanted to go running.
My gym has 10 - 12 TVs mounted to the wall so runners, stair steppers, or cyclists can watch programs while they exercise. Last night, it seemed that each TV was tuned to a different reality show. I thought the networks would run out of ideas years ago. Survivor, Big Brother, Real World, and the Bachelor grabbed the media’s attention. Oh, it's just a fad. But years later we’ve gone through Newly Weds, Till Death Do Us Part, The Osmonds, Iron Chef, Wife Swap, Dancing with the Stars, and countless others. I’m not good at predicting fads apparently. And I thought…
What if I had a reality TV show? I ruled out the relationship theme. Bachelor, Bachelorette, Average Joe, and A Shot at Love have covered every angle. I also don’t want to drink pureed pig feet, lie in a vat of mice, or eat a live spider so Survivor won’t, shall we say, survive. And my last name isn’t Simpson so I’m not forcing anyone to watch my family assist my band career or my first attempt at marriage.
The reality is that I go to work Monday through Friday. I’m a secretary for a construction agency and I’m bored at work. I check facebook. I blog. I balance my checkbook. I email.
So here’s my idea for the show: I take 5 contestants. They each get one day of the week. Whoever can make it through the day without dying of boredom wins. The catch, of course, is that they will not have access to the internet. The computer will only have three screens to switch between: Word, Excel, and the Standard or Scientific Calculator.
The winner gets my job. How's that for reality.
The final was yesterday therefore last night was my anticipated gym night. I’m sure normal people would celebrate by going to dinner, or a movie, or not going out but I’m different. I wanted to go running.
My gym has 10 - 12 TVs mounted to the wall so runners, stair steppers, or cyclists can watch programs while they exercise. Last night, it seemed that each TV was tuned to a different reality show. I thought the networks would run out of ideas years ago. Survivor, Big Brother, Real World, and the Bachelor grabbed the media’s attention. Oh, it's just a fad. But years later we’ve gone through Newly Weds, Till Death Do Us Part, The Osmonds, Iron Chef, Wife Swap, Dancing with the Stars, and countless others. I’m not good at predicting fads apparently. And I thought…
What if I had a reality TV show? I ruled out the relationship theme. Bachelor, Bachelorette, Average Joe, and A Shot at Love have covered every angle. I also don’t want to drink pureed pig feet, lie in a vat of mice, or eat a live spider so Survivor won’t, shall we say, survive. And my last name isn’t Simpson so I’m not forcing anyone to watch my family assist my band career or my first attempt at marriage.
The reality is that I go to work Monday through Friday. I’m a secretary for a construction agency and I’m bored at work. I check facebook. I blog. I balance my checkbook. I email.
So here’s my idea for the show: I take 5 contestants. They each get one day of the week. Whoever can make it through the day without dying of boredom wins. The catch, of course, is that they will not have access to the internet. The computer will only have three screens to switch between: Word, Excel, and the Standard or Scientific Calculator.
The winner gets my job. How's that for reality.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Flashback to 1985
When I meet someone new, conversation frequently leads to questions regarding my occupation.
"So what type of work do you do?" Me? Oh, I work for a construction agency. "Interesting. So, are you actually building the buildings?" No, I'm the executive assistant for a small office. "Nice. That sounds fun."
Boring would be a better term. While applying to a few jobs recently, I struggle to pinpoint my exact duties. Not including time spent emailing, blogging, or answering the phone, just what do I do all day? See if you can figure it out. This is just one conversation I had lately with Jordan - the office temp/windshield.
Jordan: Charlotte, you look really nice today.
Charlotta: Aww, thanks.
J: mmmMPPPFTTT!
C: ...what?
J: Don't you know today is Opposite Day?
C: ...
C: Did you really just say that? That's so 5th grade.
J: I know. I loved Opposite Day when I was little.
C: Speaking of 5th grade, did you ever own a hyper color t-shirt?
J: A what?
C: Hyper color. You know - those shirts that changed color with the temperature.
J: Oh yeah! I had an off brand - not hyper color. It was florescent yellow or some other bright color.
C: That's it. *sigh...I always wanted one of those shirts.
J: What about slap bracelets. Remember those?
C: Oh yeah! I had a few...one was pink with black polka dots.
J: Did you have those socks that bunched up?
C: No. I know what you are talking about but I just scrunched my socks and pretended to be cool.
J: Did you tie your shirt in a knot at the bottom corner?
C: All the time. I had a banana clip that I wore in my hair too. I hope you didn't have one of those.
J: No. I did have a college football team jacket though. We lived in Florida at the time and it never got cold enough to really need it. I would sweat every time I wore that stupid jacket.
C: I didn't care about football enough to get a jacket but I do remember those shoelaces that curled at the end no matter how much you pulled. Remember those?
J: Totally! I also had loafers and actually put pennies in them.
C: I went the Keds route.
J: Did you watch Fraggle Rock?
C: (singing) Down in Fraggle Rock! I loved that show.
J: What about "Legends of the Hidden Temple?"
C: Was that the game show on Nickelodeon where the contestants had to navigate through the temple maze for tokens but the weird temple demons jumped out of particular rooms? If you didn't have a token, you lost?
J: That was it.
C: What about Finder's Keepers?
J: I don't remember that one. Did you ever watch GUTS?
C: I. Loved. That. Show!
J: I heard this guy bought a piece of the Agro Crag on eBay.
C: You can buy the Crag?!
J: Apparently. He paid $75 for it.
C: What would you do with a piece of Crag?
J: Put it on a bookshelf? I don't know.
Ring ring...
C: Oh, the phone is ringing. Back to work.
Ring ring...
That, my friends, is how I spend an average of 40 hours per week.
That's sad.
I know you are but what am I?
"So what type of work do you do?" Me? Oh, I work for a construction agency. "Interesting. So, are you actually building the buildings?" No, I'm the executive assistant for a small office. "Nice. That sounds fun."
Boring would be a better term. While applying to a few jobs recently, I struggle to pinpoint my exact duties. Not including time spent emailing, blogging, or answering the phone, just what do I do all day? See if you can figure it out. This is just one conversation I had lately with Jordan - the office temp/windshield.
Jordan: Charlotte, you look really nice today.
Charlotta: Aww, thanks.
J: mmmMPPPFTTT!
C: ...what?
J: Don't you know today is Opposite Day?
C: ...
C: Did you really just say that? That's so 5th grade.
J: I know. I loved Opposite Day when I was little.
C: Speaking of 5th grade, did you ever own a hyper color t-shirt?
J: A what?
C: Hyper color. You know - those shirts that changed color with the temperature.
J: Oh yeah! I had an off brand - not hyper color. It was florescent yellow or some other bright color.
C: That's it. *sigh...I always wanted one of those shirts.
J: What about slap bracelets. Remember those?
C: Oh yeah! I had a few...one was pink with black polka dots.
J: Did you have those socks that bunched up?
C: No. I know what you are talking about but I just scrunched my socks and pretended to be cool.
J: Did you tie your shirt in a knot at the bottom corner?
C: All the time. I had a banana clip that I wore in my hair too. I hope you didn't have one of those.
J: No. I did have a college football team jacket though. We lived in Florida at the time and it never got cold enough to really need it. I would sweat every time I wore that stupid jacket.
C: I didn't care about football enough to get a jacket but I do remember those shoelaces that curled at the end no matter how much you pulled. Remember those?
J: Totally! I also had loafers and actually put pennies in them.
C: I went the Keds route.
J: Did you watch Fraggle Rock?
C: (singing) Down in Fraggle Rock! I loved that show.
J: What about "Legends of the Hidden Temple?"
C: Was that the game show on Nickelodeon where the contestants had to navigate through the temple maze for tokens but the weird temple demons jumped out of particular rooms? If you didn't have a token, you lost?
J: That was it.
C: What about Finder's Keepers?
J: I don't remember that one. Did you ever watch GUTS?
C: I. Loved. That. Show!
J: I heard this guy bought a piece of the Agro Crag on eBay.
C: You can buy the Crag?!
J: Apparently. He paid $75 for it.
C: What would you do with a piece of Crag?
J: Put it on a bookshelf? I don't know.
Ring ring...
C: Oh, the phone is ringing. Back to work.
Ring ring...
That, my friends, is how I spend an average of 40 hours per week.
That's sad.
I know you are but what am I?
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Reeeeeally Early
Jordan, the temp worker here at the office, celebrated his 23rd birthday three weeks ago. Since our office loves any reason to eat sugar on the company’s dime, birthdays are events! For some reason Jordan’s birthday was postponed. First he wasn’t working on his actual birthday so we waited until the next week which was Thanksgiving. Holiday weeks are short already and we worked quickly to finish on time. The birthday celebration was postponed again. This week is halfway over. No plans have been made for Jordan’s birthday since Jim is turning 80 soon. All focus is on Jim’s big day. Yesterday, as Jordan and I were going over some last minute details for the caterer (80 really is a big deal), the conversation indicated a bit of resentment.
Me: Jordan, we need a table for the cake.
Jordan: Oh. He’s getting a cake, huh.
Me: Yes. Why wouldn’t he?
Jordan: Oh I don’t know. Sometimes people don’t get cakes.
Me: Well, he is turning 80. Of course we are going all out.
Jordan: Is it going to be a cookie cake?
Me: No. Why would you think that?
Jordan: Oh, no reason. That’s what I would have wanted if it were my birthday. You know…
Me: *gasp* Jordan! We never celebrated your birthday! I’m so sorry.
Jordan: Oh it’s okay. It was probably my only birthday I’ll have with the company. No big deal.
Me: Jordan, we need a table for the cake.
Jordan: Oh. He’s getting a cake, huh.
Me: Yes. Why wouldn’t he?
Jordan: Oh I don’t know. Sometimes people don’t get cakes.
Me: Well, he is turning 80. Of course we are going all out.
Jordan: Is it going to be a cookie cake?
Me: No. Why would you think that?
Jordan: Oh, no reason. That’s what I would have wanted if it were my birthday. You know…
Me: *gasp* Jordan! We never celebrated your birthday! I’m so sorry.
Jordan: Oh it’s okay. It was probably my only birthday I’ll have with the company. No big deal.
So Jordan, today is your day. Happy 30th! Don't think of this card as three weeks late but rather several years early.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Some Personal Background
We each have our own computer station at work. Most of the guys have the standard blue background as their desktop but that's too boring for me. Mine changes periodically depending on my mood.
First there was Wonder Woman. Some of the guys wondered why I had a female super hero as my background. I got tired of explaining the story and changed my picture...
to my Family
During my GRE cram month, I had inspirational math problems
But now I enjoy various cartoons.
What's on your background?
Friday, August 24, 2007
Et tu, U2?
I fell in like with a guy in college who loved the band U2. That's all he wanted to talk about, listen to, read , watch, breathe, and I'm sure eat if U2 were edible. I wanted to make a good impression on him so I started to actually listen to the band and learn as much information as possible. I made it a life goal to attend a live concert.
Fast forward a few years. Despite my crush on U2-boy dwindling to nothing, my interest in the band continued and my desire to see them live was too much to quench. U2 had just released How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb and planned a tour which would stop in a nearby city. I determined, no matter how expensive tickets were, I was going. Finally the day arrived when tickets went on sale. I was online purchasing seats while some friends were in line buying more. Tickets sold out before noon. It was okay though since I was finally going to see U2 live!
Then, in May, I found out I was moving to Georgia.
The concert was in Salt Lake, Utah that coming December.
So I bought a round trip flight to Utah. I was serious about seeing this concert! I'm sure my new Georgia co-workers thought it a tad bizarre that I was so thrilled. It was all I wanted to talk about, read, google, or listen to. One day in November, my coworker Bo brought his 14 year old son into work. The son and I bonded over music. He told me about the bands he enjoyed and I told him about, ...well, U2.
Fast forward to now. The concert was great and worth every penny. I've continued working with Bo although I've not seen his son since. A few weeks ago Bo called me to say I owed him big time. I was confused so I asked for clarification.
Bo and his wife were in the kitchen one night discussing something serious. In the middle of the conversation, their son walked in and asked, "Dad, how is that one girl at the office? You know, the one that likes you too?"
Bo slept on the couch that night. I'm not sure how I owe him since I wasn't even there. Proves I have the capability to get others in trouble without even being with them. Or near them. Or even knowing where they live.
Watch out...you could get fired for reading this blog.
Fast forward a few years. Despite my crush on U2-boy dwindling to nothing, my interest in the band continued and my desire to see them live was too much to quench. U2 had just released How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb and planned a tour which would stop in a nearby city. I determined, no matter how expensive tickets were, I was going. Finally the day arrived when tickets went on sale. I was online purchasing seats while some friends were in line buying more. Tickets sold out before noon. It was okay though since I was finally going to see U2 live!
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Then, in May, I found out I was moving to Georgia.
The concert was in Salt Lake, Utah that coming December.
So I bought a round trip flight to Utah. I was serious about seeing this concert! I'm sure my new Georgia co-workers thought it a tad bizarre that I was so thrilled. It was all I wanted to talk about, read, google, or listen to. One day in November, my coworker Bo brought his 14 year old son into work. The son and I bonded over music. He told me about the bands he enjoyed and I told him about, ...well, U2.
Fast forward to now. The concert was great and worth every penny. I've continued working with Bo although I've not seen his son since. A few weeks ago Bo called me to say I owed him big time. I was confused so I asked for clarification.
Bo and his wife were in the kitchen one night discussing something serious. In the middle of the conversation, their son walked in and asked, "Dad, how is that one girl at the office? You know, the one that likes you too?"
Bo slept on the couch that night. I'm not sure how I owe him since I wasn't even there. Proves I have the capability to get others in trouble without even being with them. Or near them. Or even knowing where they live.
Watch out...you could get fired for reading this blog.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Chivalry Is Not Dead
It rained here yesterday. Rain in Georgia is different from any other rain I've encountered. Unlike other states where rain follows a darkened sky, some low rumblings of thunder and an occasional flash of lightning, the rain here comes like a thief in an alleyway - out of nowhere. After two years of Georgia residency, I'm still caught off guard when the sunny day transforms into a monsoon in 4.2 seconds flat.
And yesterday was no different. The day was hot and sunny and beautiful. 4:58 rolled around when - BOOM - the rain started. Lots of rain. The type that comes down at a sideways slant.
I got prepared to run to my car. This meant covering the UPS package with my purse, putting on a jacket (although it was 90º out), and wishing I'd thought to bring my umbrella in after lunch (though the clear sky gave me no indication to worry). As I got ready to leave, my boss Jim stopped me at the door. He instructed me to wait while he ran to his car and retrieved his umbrella. He then came back, walked me to my car, and saw me off.
No my dear bloggers, chivalry is not dead. He happens to be my boss.
And yesterday was no different. The day was hot and sunny and beautiful. 4:58 rolled around when - BOOM - the rain started. Lots of rain. The type that comes down at a sideways slant.
I got prepared to run to my car. This meant covering the UPS package with my purse, putting on a jacket (although it was 90º out), and wishing I'd thought to bring my umbrella in after lunch (though the clear sky gave me no indication to worry). As I got ready to leave, my boss Jim stopped me at the door. He instructed me to wait while he ran to his car and retrieved his umbrella. He then came back, walked me to my car, and saw me off.
No my dear bloggers, chivalry is not dead. He happens to be my boss.
Friday, June 29, 2007
One Makes all the Difference
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Doug is our newest coworker. I learned this week that he married a foreigner. I figured it out when I answered the phone and had a difficult time understanding her. Living in the South – although cultivating me on new food, phrases, and "slow talkers" - has not allowed me much interaction with other cultures or accents especially outside the country. After Doug got off the phone, he informed me she is Scottish.
Later in the afternoon, I was trying to explain her background to Jordan and Mark. I attempted by saying, “She is from Scotland, so she isn’t a Native American…ummm, and neither am I for that matter.”
I meant to say a native of America.
One word in the middle of a two.
One word would have made all the difference.
One.
One vs Two.
Single vs Married.
The next time anyone gives me grief about being single, I’ll have to point out just how important One is.
I’m One.
And that makes all the difference...somehow.
Later in the afternoon, I was trying to explain her background to Jordan and Mark. I attempted by saying, “She is from Scotland, so she isn’t a Native American…ummm, and neither am I for that matter.”
I meant to say a native of America.
One word in the middle of a two.
One word would have made all the difference.
One.
One vs Two.
Single vs Married.
The next time anyone gives me grief about being single, I’ll have to point out just how important One is.
I’m One.
And that makes all the difference...somehow.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Isn't it Ironic
My office just hired a new guy named Doug. We were each introduced to Doug last Friday and he officially started Monday. Until we get his office set up, he is working at a table in the break room. Yesterday I went to get either a snack, a cup of water, or a glance out the window and Doug was talking with Ray. Ray broke from their conversation and asked Doug, “Have you had a chance to talk with Charlotte much?” Doug answered, “Yes. She is pretty sharp…and real funny.” Ray responded, “Yeah, she’s funny!”I nodded and said, “Thanks boys, I’ll be here all week.”
Ironically, I couldn't have been more serious when I said that.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Split personality
I work for a construction company. I deal not only with the actual guys out on the job but the guys at corporate behind the big desk as well. I see lots of hard hats, utility belts, 48oz Big Gulps, and boots every day. I talk to architects, company managers, pay-roll clerks, and the occasional telemarketer. Depending on the situation, I am either down-to-earth and cutting jokes or very professional and succinct. There is a H-U-G-E difference in Phone-girl and Desk-girl.
For example, Desk-girl would never say, "Thank Goodness it's Friday! I've been waiting all week for the weekend." Actually, Phone-girl would never actually say that either...but I hear it at least once a week. As Desk-girl, I keep the guest company until it's time for them to meet with the guys. I usually find something to chit chat about.
"Say, that's a really long braid. You lose a bet?"
(Guy with braid) "No, I belong to Hell's Angels. I grow my hair out and donate it to Locks o' Love and ain't nobody gonna mess with me."
"All right then."
(I can't make this stuff up.)
Phone-girl laments with the caller that "Monday just came way too fast."
Desk-girl laughs when coworkers come in wearing sunglasses Monday morning.
Phone-girl enunciates and politely directs calls.
Desk-girl has an awfel suthern axe-sent
Phone-girl asks the caller to please hold.
Desk-girl yells "LINE 2!!!"
Phone-girl is cheerful.
Desk-girl gives "the look" when one of the guys brings a stack of papers to send at 4:57.
As phone-girl and desk-girl, I do have fun at work. I just cater to the situation. I know enough "building-talk" to fake a conversation for 5 minutes. When a crew member comes in, I usually have to pretend I know what I'm talking about for only a few minutes. The guy leaves thinking "she knows her stuff." In the meantime, I just knocked 2 and 1/2 minutes off my hour. Additionaly, I can be quite dignified for those two minutes on the phone. I know when to drop a courtesy laugh, a quick "yes ma'am", or agree with a joke. The person hangs up feeling great about our conversation and I just chipped away another 2 minutes. You see, I'm a people person. I just like for the individual to feel comfortable while conversing with me. As long as they are happy. Give me any situation: I can adapt.
In an unrelated side note, I'm thinking of going into politics.
For example, Desk-girl would never say, "Thank Goodness it's Friday! I've been waiting all week for the weekend." Actually, Phone-girl would never actually say that either...but I hear it at least once a week. As Desk-girl, I keep the guest company until it's time for them to meet with the guys. I usually find something to chit chat about.
"Say, that's a really long braid. You lose a bet?"
(Guy with braid) "No, I belong to Hell's Angels. I grow my hair out and donate it to Locks o' Love and ain't nobody gonna mess with me."
"All right then."
(I can't make this stuff up.)
Phone-girl laments with the caller that "Monday just came way too fast."
Desk-girl laughs when coworkers come in wearing sunglasses Monday morning.
Phone-girl enunciates and politely directs calls.
Desk-girl has an awfel suthern axe-sent
Phone-girl asks the caller to please hold.
Desk-girl yells "LINE 2!!!"
Phone-girl is cheerful.
Desk-girl gives "the look" when one of the guys brings a stack of papers to send at 4:57.
As phone-girl and desk-girl, I do have fun at work. I just cater to the situation. I know enough "building-talk" to fake a conversation for 5 minutes. When a crew member comes in, I usually have to pretend I know what I'm talking about for only a few minutes. The guy leaves thinking "she knows her stuff." In the meantime, I just knocked 2 and 1/2 minutes off my hour. Additionaly, I can be quite dignified for those two minutes on the phone. I know when to drop a courtesy laugh, a quick "yes ma'am", or agree with a joke. The person hangs up feeling great about our conversation and I just chipped away another 2 minutes. You see, I'm a people person. I just like for the individual to feel comfortable while conversing with me. As long as they are happy. Give me any situation: I can adapt.
In an unrelated side note, I'm thinking of going into politics.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I Wonder what Woman...
I've mentioned my coworkers before as I described our office car and again when they surprised me with a vegetable tray for my birthday but I've never told you what we do. I work for a general contractor as an executive assistant...or in unfluffy terms, I'm a secretary for a construction company. This means I meet lots of guys...not the kind you bring home to momma though.
Let me tell you about Gerald. He's in his 50's, stands about 5'11, has a head of graying, dirty blonde hair, and I've never seen him without a plaid shirt tucked into his jeans or his package of cigarettes. He lives on a ranch and has installed fire sprinkler systems a good portion of his life. Anytime he comes to the office to conduct business, he nods a greeting to me and heads straight for the bathroom. Business...just talking to a man about a horse. Anyway, Gerald loves women. He is married but that doesn't stop him from flirting with any female he meets.
Let me tell you about Gerald. He's in his 50's, stands about 5'11, has a head of graying, dirty blonde hair, and I've never seen him without a plaid shirt tucked into his jeans or his package of cigarettes. He lives on a ranch and has installed fire sprinkler systems a good portion of his life. Anytime he comes to the office to conduct business, he nods a greeting to me and heads straight for the bathroom. Business...just talking to a man about a horse. Anyway, Gerald loves women. He is married but that doesn't stop him from flirting with any female he meets.
The first time I met him was a few months before our company moved to a bigger office. The suite we were crammed into was so small that my desk literally was 2 feet from the door. Anytime someone came in, I had to lean back a few inches to maintain my personal bubble. Gerald was the worst of them all. He would come in, nod, and make a comment on how pretty the office had become since I'd been hired. Then he'd go tend to business. I'd usually give the half smile before returning to whatever work I was doing. One day, on his way out, he nodded, opened the door, then turned around. He asked me to take off my glasses. Confused, I slowly removed them as he said, "I'll be. Ain't you just the spitting image of Wonder Woman."
Then he left. I sat there totally speechless. Did a 50 year old just hit on me?! Ewww, Gross! It didn't help when one of the office guys said, "Don't worry about it. He hits on anyone that's female." Oh, okay. So now I feel gross AND cheap. Thanks.
When I told some friends about the experience, my BYU friend, Zach Morris, sent me a picture of the 70's star. What do you think?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Someone's lucky I'm so Healthy
I work in an office with less than 10 in-house personnel and we all love a reason to relax and eat cake. Anytime someone has a birthday, we have a “surprise” party for them. The birthday individual knows it’s coming but pretends to be shocked anyway. Usually it’s easy to get the cake in the conference room, gather everyone together, and somehow need the birthday person to join the group; however, I make it a little harder since I sit directly to the left of the conference room. Any traffic through the glass front door passes by me. I knew my “office” birthday would be on Friday since a true celebration would require coming to work on Saturday. I got the biggest kick out of pretending to not know what was going on as I watched my coworkers try hard to get everything past me.
It started when I got back from lunch and Michele tells me that Jordan is “out running an errand.” Translation: he’s the lucky one that gets to pick out the cake and card. Jordan calls; Michele answers and I hear this side of the conversation. “Hmmm really? Then don’t go that route. … Yeah, just get two tubs. … Yes, that is what we need to do.” Tubs? Tubs of butter? Cakes don’t come in tubs. Maybe tubs of ice cream? Hmmm… About five minutes later Michele has to “go out to her car to get something she forgot”. She comes back in but goes across the foyer to our neighbor’s suite with a big brown box. So she put the cake in a box to get it inside. Now she has to get it over here. Jordan walked in – empty handed – 2 or 3 minutes later.
I must have missed the Transfer-of-the-Cake-from-Suite-to-Suite bit when I went to either send a fax, get some water, or go to the bathroom. At some point Michele goes to the conference room and I hear the crinkle-crinkle of the cake lid as Michele tries to quietly pop it apart.
The crinkling continued.
Even longer.
What was she doing? It sounded like a layer of plastic was carefully being cut off. I pretended to not hear. I went back to burning cds for some of our clients. Michele came to my desk and said I needed to hold all the calls for the guys since they were in a “meeting” in the conference room. Riiiiiight. Of course, of course. That just left me, Michele, and Claudia still in the office. Michele cracked the conference room open and said, “Oh, you need Charlotte in there too?” I was biting my lip to not smile and laugh. Michele turned to me and said, “Charlotte, they want you in there to take notes.”
I smiled and said, "You know it's getting harder and harder to make it a surprise."
“I know. Just get in there.”
“Does Claudia need to “take notes” too?”
“Oh yes. Claudia, we need you in the conference room.”
I walked in as my coworkers sang an off-key rendition of Happy Birthday and then started laughing. In the middle of the table there were not only two tubs of fruit but also a vegetable tray complete with candles in the broccoli and cauliflower! Tubs of FRUIT. Ahhhh…it made sense now. And the crinkle noise was the plastic seal being cut off. Of course! What did surprise me was the fruits and veggies though. I know I try to eat healthy but never anticipated those habits rubbing off into my office birthday surprise treat. I think my coworkers are glad they only have to celebrate birthdays with carrots once a year. There was considerably more left-overs than when we have cake.
On Fridays we get out at 4pm so I try to go to the gym during the last hour of work and walk/run for 40 minutes. I decided I would rather stop by work after the gym and pick up the left over rabbit snacks than risk car-steamed veggies after my run. So I went; I ran; I glistened.
I returned to work to find FLOWERS! I had missed the delivery while I was at the gym. I quickly opened the note to see who had sent them.
("Happy Birthday One Day Early. This Way It Is More Of A Surprise. Someone")
It started when I got back from lunch and Michele tells me that Jordan is “out running an errand.” Translation: he’s the lucky one that gets to pick out the cake and card. Jordan calls; Michele answers and I hear this side of the conversation. “Hmmm really? Then don’t go that route. … Yeah, just get two tubs. … Yes, that is what we need to do.” Tubs? Tubs of butter? Cakes don’t come in tubs. Maybe tubs of ice cream? Hmmm… About five minutes later Michele has to “go out to her car to get something she forgot”. She comes back in but goes across the foyer to our neighbor’s suite with a big brown box. So she put the cake in a box to get it inside. Now she has to get it over here. Jordan walked in – empty handed – 2 or 3 minutes later.
I must have missed the Transfer-of-the-Cake-from-Suite-to-Suite bit when I went to either send a fax, get some water, or go to the bathroom. At some point Michele goes to the conference room and I hear the crinkle-crinkle of the cake lid as Michele tries to quietly pop it apart.
The crinkling continued.
Even longer.
What was she doing? It sounded like a layer of plastic was carefully being cut off. I pretended to not hear. I went back to burning cds for some of our clients. Michele came to my desk and said I needed to hold all the calls for the guys since they were in a “meeting” in the conference room. Riiiiiight. Of course, of course. That just left me, Michele, and Claudia still in the office. Michele cracked the conference room open and said, “Oh, you need Charlotte in there too?” I was biting my lip to not smile and laugh. Michele turned to me and said, “Charlotte, they want you in there to take notes.”
I smiled and said, "You know it's getting harder and harder to make it a surprise."
“I know. Just get in there.”
“Does Claudia need to “take notes” too?”
“Oh yes. Claudia, we need you in the conference room.”
I walked in as my coworkers sang an off-key rendition of Happy Birthday and then started laughing. In the middle of the table there were not only two tubs of fruit but also a vegetable tray complete with candles in the broccoli and cauliflower! Tubs of FRUIT. Ahhhh…it made sense now. And the crinkle noise was the plastic seal being cut off. Of course! What did surprise me was the fruits and veggies though. I know I try to eat healthy but never anticipated those habits rubbing off into my office birthday surprise treat. I think my coworkers are glad they only have to celebrate birthdays with carrots once a year. There was considerably more left-overs than when we have cake.
On Fridays we get out at 4pm so I try to go to the gym during the last hour of work and walk/run for 40 minutes. I decided I would rather stop by work after the gym and pick up the left over rabbit snacks than risk car-steamed veggies after my run. So I went; I ran; I glistened.
I returned to work to find FLOWERS! I had missed the delivery while I was at the gym. I quickly opened the note to see who had sent them.
("Happy Birthday One Day Early. This Way It Is More Of A Surprise. Someone")Someone’s lucky I had to come back and pick up my veggies.
Someone made my day.
Thanks Someone!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
In the mouth of Old Babes
I got a perm in January. I walked into the salon and asked for a wave, something to add curl and body when I wanted to actually do my hair, but came out looking like a poodle. I did NOT like it. I washed it that night, brushed it, tried to straighten it, and washed it again the next day. Still curly. So I had to come to grips with the concept that for a few months, I will have curlier hair than I anticipated. I’ve learned how to style it better and people are even complimenting me. I assumed this meant my hair finally was starting to look okay.
This morning I had some extra time and decided to straighten my hair. It’s been about a week since I last took the time so it was fun seeing my hair straight. I’m sitting at my desk when my boss came in. Instead of the typical “Good morning” he flat out said, “What happened to the frizz?”
Hmmm…tell me how you really feel.
This morning I had some extra time and decided to straighten my hair. It’s been about a week since I last took the time so it was fun seeing my hair straight. I’m sitting at my desk when my boss came in. Instead of the typical “Good morning” he flat out said, “What happened to the frizz?”
Hmmm…tell me how you really feel.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Charlotte:_______ :: Office:Car
My coworker, Jordan, and I got into a discussion about cars this morning. Not just any car…our office “car”. If everyone in the office was a functioning part of a stick shift car, this is what we would be.
* Jordan, our temp and go-to man, would not only be the windshield since he gets all the crap, but also the floor mat since he always gets stepped on.
* I would be the shocks since I keep the office stable and the gas pedal because I make things happen in the office. However, when the office isn’t busy, I’m more like tinted windows. Nice to have but not really necessary.
* Michele, the office manager, is the car’s governor. She tells us what we can do but there are always limits we aren’t aware of. Also, she likes to sing which makes her the radio; always saying something but not necessarily anything important.
* Tommy, the office head, has the loudest cell phone so of course he would be the horn.
* Tommy also would be, along with Chris and Mark, the project managers, component parts of the engine. Without them, we really wouldn’t go anywhere.
* Jim, my 79 year old boss, would be the brakes. Although he’s crucial to the company, he does tend to slow us down.
* Ray, the marketing director, is like gas. He’s the one who gets things started but he’s always running out of energy.
* Claudia, another temp, would be the automatic windows and locks. Not necessary but sure makes things easier.
* Subcontractors – Tires because they are always so over inflated and full of hot air.
So...what part of the car would YOU be in your office/home/relationship/etc?
* Jordan, our temp and go-to man, would not only be the windshield since he gets all the crap, but also the floor mat since he always gets stepped on.
* I would be the shocks since I keep the office stable and the gas pedal because I make things happen in the office. However, when the office isn’t busy, I’m more like tinted windows. Nice to have but not really necessary.
* Michele, the office manager, is the car’s governor. She tells us what we can do but there are always limits we aren’t aware of. Also, she likes to sing which makes her the radio; always saying something but not necessarily anything important.
* Tommy, the office head, has the loudest cell phone so of course he would be the horn.
* Tommy also would be, along with Chris and Mark, the project managers, component parts of the engine. Without them, we really wouldn’t go anywhere.
* Jim, my 79 year old boss, would be the brakes. Although he’s crucial to the company, he does tend to slow us down.
* Ray, the marketing director, is like gas. He’s the one who gets things started but he’s always running out of energy.
* Claudia, another temp, would be the automatic windows and locks. Not necessary but sure makes things easier.
* Subcontractors – Tires because they are always so over inflated and full of hot air.
So...what part of the car would YOU be in your office/home/relationship/etc?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I got it...you know it.
The first week of January, I had an interview in the heart of Atlanta at an agriculture company. I took a half day at my current job and headed out around 1:30 for my 3:30 appointment. About 40 minutes into the drive, my tires started making a thumping noise. I pulled over and noticed the air was low so I drove to the next gas station about 5 minutes away. As I walked to the store to get change for the tire pump, a guy leaned out of his car and shouted “hey there sexy momma.” Seriously…tell me something I don’t know.
Anyway, I pumped up my tires, filled up the car with gas, and got back onto the road, er, parking lot. I don’t know who makes the decisions about road construction but they have yet to consult me because I would let them know it is NOT a good choice to merge three lanes into one just a mile before the onramp – which by the way, pours onto the freeway in the left – or fast – lane. I did all I could do: sat in my car with my wipers and defroster on high. (I neglected to mention this trip was taken while Atlanta was under a tornado watch).
I finally was able to merge onto the freeway and get to my interview. Even leaving with an extra half hour, I got there 5 minutes late. I removed my rain jacket, shook hands, sat down and was caught off guard by the first comment:
“I see you have a degree in Science from the Y.”
…No, I have a bachelor of science in Recreation Management.
“Oh. Okaaaaay. Well, that’s alright, that’s alright.”
The interview, not one of my better ones, finally finished and I left. I wanted to quickly stop in at Ikea before attending to other errands and then meet a friend for dinner. My plans did not go as I anticipated but, always looking for a learning opportunity, this is what I gleaned from my day in Atlanta.
- Ikea is huge!
- You can find a parking spot, walk a mile to get to Ikea, walk a mile to the one item you need, walk the mile back to the checkout, wait in line for the two clerks to ring everyone up, walk a mile back to your car FASTER than you can drive 20 miles on the freeway.
- In the planning meeting, city officials must have run out of names because every street is called Peachtree-something.
- Atlanta has tornadoes?!
- The toll on GA 400 is $ .50.
- Downtown Atlanta is not set up like downtown Salt Lake City.
- Spaghetti junction really is like pasta. Although it looks smooth, there are always sticky spots.
After dinner, I started thinking about all the events of the day and laughed when I remembered the whistler at the gas station. One thing was clear: as for the job, I don’t know if I got it, but I do know that I still got it!
Anyway, I pumped up my tires, filled up the car with gas, and got back onto the road, er, parking lot. I don’t know who makes the decisions about road construction but they have yet to consult me because I would let them know it is NOT a good choice to merge three lanes into one just a mile before the onramp – which by the way, pours onto the freeway in the left – or fast – lane. I did all I could do: sat in my car with my wipers and defroster on high. (I neglected to mention this trip was taken while Atlanta was under a tornado watch).
I finally was able to merge onto the freeway and get to my interview. Even leaving with an extra half hour, I got there 5 minutes late. I removed my rain jacket, shook hands, sat down and was caught off guard by the first comment:
“I see you have a degree in Science from the Y.”
…No, I have a bachelor of science in Recreation Management.
“Oh. Okaaaaay. Well, that’s alright, that’s alright.”
The interview, not one of my better ones, finally finished and I left. I wanted to quickly stop in at Ikea before attending to other errands and then meet a friend for dinner. My plans did not go as I anticipated but, always looking for a learning opportunity, this is what I gleaned from my day in Atlanta.
- Ikea is huge!
- You can find a parking spot, walk a mile to get to Ikea, walk a mile to the one item you need, walk the mile back to the checkout, wait in line for the two clerks to ring everyone up, walk a mile back to your car FASTER than you can drive 20 miles on the freeway.
- In the planning meeting, city officials must have run out of names because every street is called Peachtree-something.
- Atlanta has tornadoes?!
- The toll on GA 400 is $ .50.
- Downtown Atlanta is not set up like downtown Salt Lake City.
- Spaghetti junction really is like pasta. Although it looks smooth, there are always sticky spots.
After dinner, I started thinking about all the events of the day and laughed when I remembered the whistler at the gas station. One thing was clear: as for the job, I don’t know if I got it, but I do know that I still got it!
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