Sssssssssay what?!

I am single.
I go to dances.

Those two statements alone provide endless fodder for my blog. Once a month I go to a Young Single Adult Dance in Atlanta composed primarily of Latter-day Saints. I am not the best dancer there – by far – and the 1.5 hour drive each way usually isn’t too exciting but the dance allows for socializing, networking, and (I hate to admit it) dating opportunities. Of course, there are a few weirdoes that also attend and I thought I'd met them all. There is “the leaner” that, legend has it, leaned into a girl and said he thought she looked like she needed a kiss. She moved away but he has been seen coming out of classrooms with different girls whose hair shows ruffling. There is also “Matrix” who shaves his head and wears his floor-length, black, leather coat the duration of the dance. There is another guy who I’ll just call “True southern boy” who wanted to show me his rifle collection and even gave me directions to his mobile home. (You can’t make these things up!)

This weekend I met a new weirdo though. He was standing maybe 10 feet away motionless except for his fingers. His hand was up like he was about to wave at someone but his fingers moved slowly back and forth like he was twisting an imaginary pencil back and forth from pinky to pointer, pointer to pinky. Never having seen someone wave in such a slow deliberate manner, I walked closer to investigate – and recoiled back once I saw the snake in his hand. Let me take a moment to point out that snakes are not all bad. I have held a fair share of them. However, a dance (or a plane) is neither the place nor time for reptile exhibits so I asked him what he was doing with a snake. He told me he had owned the snake for 7 years; it was his pet. I wondered why he wasn’t getting my point and further asked where he planned on putting the snake during the dance. He said that he would continue to hold it and when he asked girls to dance, he would let them know about the snake on the way to the dance floor.

Now, I like to think that I am a friendly person…when someone talks to me, I engage in conversation. If I need to exit for some reason, I can always find a way out like, “Well, that sounds good” or “Nice seeing you,” but when he told me that, I nodded, raised my eyebrows in silent shock, turned and walked away.

Ssssee ya later!