Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Bathroom Humor

Guys~
You are in for a treat today. I'm going to - free of charge - let you in on a secret. A concept that has puzzled men for years. It's a question you all have asked yourself at least once before.

Why is it that women have to go to the bathroom in groups? And what takes them soooo long?

I hope you realize the sacrifice I'm making to divulge this information. I could potentially lose all (3) of my loyal female bloggers. At the risk of being asked to leave Blogger World, I'll quickly explain the phenomenon known as "freshing up".

Let's say you are a counselor for a week at a youth camp full of teenagers. This is all hypothetical of course. Let's continue the example by stating the evening activity is a dance. Since this assumed camp is located at some vacant-for-the-summer college campus, this imagined dance would probably be located in a gym of sorts. To spice the story up a bit, let's pretend that although the air conditioning works, it isn't sufficient to keep the gymnasium completely cool. Add some Georgia humidity and our story gets exciting.

In our scenario, you have to go to the bathroom. You find the ladies room quickly and discover about - just imagine with me - 15 girls huddled around the mirror and all 8 stalls empty. Let's pretend the girls really don't see you walk in and continue their intense conversation. Since the loud music is muffled through the walls, you can hear all their comments.

Before I tell you what these girls might have said if this were a real situation, I need to state that all comments would be said with sincerity. A bathroom is no place for joking. Complete analysis of the situation, say a dance, must be discussed thoroughly before anyone may leave. The bathroom is where you take care of business...literally.

So if you were in a bathroom with some girls who were momentarily absent from a supposed dance in a gym, you might hear the following.

* I just came to the bathroom to see how ugly my hair is.
* He's cute but does he have nice arms?
* Oh! my bangs are so poofy!
...and my personal favorite...
* It is hotter than a camel's butt in the middle of the summer on that dance floor.

And that's when you realize a mammal-certified proctologist is in your midst. Hypothetically speaking of course.

15 comments:

Shelby said...

very funny :)

happy day!!

ThomCarter.com said...

Wait . . . so there is no tinkling at all?

How weird.

gautami tripathy said...

Hey, don't let out all our secrets!!

Em said...

I understand that things like these mysterious conversations take place in there. But really, don't you ever just have to pee???

Saule Cogneur said...

I get it! I once went to an EFY in southern Virginia, and I bet the temperature was comparable to GA. I simply thought all the girls had the runs from the hot weather and lousy cafeteria food, but now I realize they were just talking about my arms. Ah, the world makes sense again.

Jason said...

I thought of a really crude comment, but I will keep my mouth shut. Oh you would have laughed, or atleast the guys would have, but then I would be band from all future interactions with you and your family.

Burg said...

I thought it was because we need a spotter.

thethinker said...

"Oh! my bangs are so poofy!"

I'm guilty of saying that one.

Dorky Dad said...

That's it? That's all? What a let-down. I thought y'all watched movies in there or did other things.

charlottalove said...

Shelby & Gautami: thanks for stopping by! 3WW is fun huh.

Thom & Em: I can't disclose that information. I've already said too much.

Saule: glad I could help the world make sense again.

Jason: thanks. I can only imagine what you might have said and you are right, we probably couldn't remain friends. :o)

Burg: that might be the case too...

Thinker: I confess, I have never said that.

Dorky Dad: No...no movies. Although some nicer bathrooms have a lounge area. As though the bathroom is where anyone WANTS to lounge. *gross.

B-rad said...

One of the great mysteries solved. Now I just need to find out what goes on in the Teacher's Lounge.

Clairissa said...

Ya, sorry, you are officially out of the girls club for divulging that one! You are too funny... Love it! :)

Above Average Joe said...

All along I thought you went in pairs so one could hold the door closed and it took longer because women needed to line the seat with toilet paper.

Bone said...

Aha! At long last, the cat's out of the bag.

I posed this very question on my blog a little over a year ago.

Thanks for the inside information :)

PS: What is a spotter? Or do I not want to know?

Shankar said...

So, there's no real reason as to why women storm their restrooms like Cagney and Lacey? I'm beginning to think Henry Higgins was right...