Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Exhausting Rest

I didn't post on Monday. Sorry. I was too tired. I don't know what the problem is actually. Despite the typical early to bed, early to rise, hope it makes me really wealthy and wise schedule I stick to, I still seem to be caught in a desperate attempt to catch up on sleep. Monday night I went to bed at 9:50 instead of my normal 11:15 and woke up at 6:45 ~ an entire hour later than usual. In addition to my extreme fatigue, I had a strange bruise on my left thigh and my left shoulder was much tighter than normal although the covers on my bed indicated restful sleep.

What is the deal?

I can only think of one answer: I must be a crime fighter while I’m asleep. Years ago I was known to sleep talk and sleep walk so I assume I have taken the next step and now sleep fight. I think it’s obvious. Look at all the clues I’ve left myself:


  • Disheveled Hair: No matter how many times I brush before retiring to bed, I wake with tousled locks. No wonder! It’s hard to keep one’s hair manageable when one is a Sleep-Fighter!


  • Sweaty Hands: All the better to punch you with Mr. McCrime!


  • Bruises on Thigh: ...so he got a lucky kick in, okay...


  • Sore Shoulder: I throw a mean lefty.

Which brings up a whole ‘nother problem. I desperately need some cuter pajamas. If I’m out sleep-fighting crime, I can’t wear mismatched or over sized tees and shorts anymore. A uniform is in order. I originally thought black since it’s slimming but considering it’s already dark out, that might be dangerous. The last thing the city needs is a crime-sleep-fighter hurt on the job. White is easier to see at night but those dirt and blood stains would be awful to wash out. Anyone know where I can find an outfit made entirely of bike reflectors?




Oh. Another question: Is it bad for me to sleep on the job? I mean, technically that IS when I’m at my best.


You know how to reach me. Shine the sign.


Wonder Woman by Day...Slumber Woman by Night!

14 comments:

ThomCarter.com said...

Slumber Woman . . . don't mess with her. I got attacked one time (of course I totally provoked it). I believe that this is the TRUTH!!!

Charlotte said...

Slumber Woman, I love it. This is a classic Charlotta post! You know I think I might be your trusty side-kick, Slumber Mama. I also wake up every morning bruised, battered and with very bad hair. And if I'm not crime-fightin' in my sleep then I'm definitely toddler-wranglin'.

Above Average Joe said...

I figured you were on your honeymoon Monday.

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

Thanks for the visit. :) You being busy with the crime fighting and all.

How about a uniform that says,

"Nocturnal Colonel"

Maybe that's too fast foodish.

Rose

xo

charlotta-love said...

Nocturnal Colonel! HA! LOVE IT

laura said...

I get mysterious bruises too! I just thought I blocked the unpleasant hit out of my memory

Dorky Dad said...

It's probably a good thing that you don't sleep naked.

Somebody stole the propane tank for our gas grill one night. Is there a special Slumber Woman phone for me to call or must I fill out a form?

charlotta-love said...

DD: I remember when your grill was stolen. I wasn't on shift that night though. Talk to Insomnia Woman.

Clare said...

Hi Slumber Woman -- I liked what you wrote for 3WW -- I can smell the cigarettes in the corridor! And I like what you wrote here -- I hope you're not coming down with something and instead are just busy crime-fighting all evening!
:)

Sarah said...

Don't go with black - it's slmming but much more trashy. You might be mistaken for a prostitute, being out at night and all. The blue and yellow robe is much better. Unless trashy IS the look your going for . . .

Kate said...

lol I totally agree that since you are fighting crime in your sleep you are entitled to some cute new nighties!

Your post made me laugh... I came from Bones where your corridor comment made me giggle too! Thanks! =]

Charles said...

Go with the white. So long as you are good enough to not get your own blood on it, it will be more intimidating. Perhaps red will solve it if you aren't, but the street-walker thing comes up again.

I think you will look good no matter what you wear.

WILLIAM said...

I so difg the wonder woman Bathrobe.

Shankar said...

You're Wonder Woman...don't you wear satin tights or something like that?