Monday, January 28, 2008

Jean Torture

A few weeks ago, I discovered my jeans had outgrown me. Usually this would be good news - not for me. This means I had to go jean shopping and I'm not fond of shopping. I am very content with my body - don't get me wrong - but according to the rest of the clothing industry, I'm odd shaped. I have a normal waist for my weight but a rather long inseam. Since I enjoy biking, my thighs are a bit thicker.

Normal waist + long legs + thick thighs = Odd size that's difficult to find.

I knew I would be in Atlanta for the weekend and planned to shop during some down time. A friend called to see if I wanted to do something. I explained that buying new jeans was on the agenda - he was welcome to join me at the mall.

He agreed. Poor, poor guy.

We arrived and "Mission (Impossible) Jean" began.

Store #1: "Okay, I'm wearing jeans size 10 long. Let's start with that size and try a few styles." He helped and I went to try on a few pair. I couldn't even zip them up. Confused, I went back and asked him to help me locate the 12's. That size didn't fit either. I refused to go up another size so we left.

Store #2: "Okay, help me find a 9 or an 11." "Wait...," he said, "What happened to the 10s and 12s?" "They don't use that sizing system at this store - here it is odd numbers instead of even." The 11 was tight. Humbly I tried on the 13. It fit fine. Not convinced this was the pair of pants for me, I noted the name of the store and we left to try some other stores.

Store #I'm getting hungry: "Another store and they use even numbers. Let me try a 12. " This time, the pants fit like an over sized parachute! I had to go back and get a 10 - still too large. The 8 - too snug.

Store #Let-me-just-look-real-quick: This store was having a 50% off sale which meant the jeans were now affordable. They only had regular length jeans - which looked like capris.

Store #Are-we-done-yet: "Whoa, I can buy an iPod cheaper than this pair of jeans. Never mind."

I'm not sure exactly how many stores we entered. The total was enough: enough for me to find a decent pair; enough for him to appreciate the simplicity of male standardized pant sizes.

And that is why pants that no longer stay up without a belt is bad news.

19 comments:

RED MOJO said...

When I saw the name of your post, I thought wow, that's a cool name. I pictured some chick in leather and high heels with a toothpick sticking out of her mouth, sitting on an old triumph motorcycle.
Jean shopping is a drag, but I will the overall experience is just slightly worse when you are going up a size instead of down, even you do have all those "odd" characteristics.

charlotta-love said...

Wow...someone has blogger reader! That's the fastest response I've ever had to a post. In the end, I ended up staying the same size as the pants that are too large for me. I don't get it.

Beth said...

I so empathize with you - I hate shopping, hate the size discrepancies, hate being in a fitting room (who is watching me via a hidden camera??) and get so frustrated.
Glad you found a pair. (You should have bought two - and saved yourself another trip.)

Haley Greer said...

I'm Jake's friend Haley, and I think you're funny.

The end.

Clairissa said...

Buckle is the only store I can ever find a pair of jeans I halfway like. They're on the pricey side, but soo worth it when you find a pair you love. p.s. Clothes are getting smaller...seems everyone has to be a size 0 to fit into anything these days?!

bec said...

I'm not a big fan of shopping, and jean shopping is definitely the worst. If i find a pair I like that is twice what I would prefer to pay, I still buy them, just to get it over with.

Rachel and her Brasileiros said...

this is exactly why I only have 2 pairs of jeans. Each cost over well over $100... but its worth it. You may think I'm crazy but they fit great every time and I've had one pair for 2 years and the other for 1 year. The older pair is just NOW starting to get a couple holes in the knees from playing on the floor with Owen. It's like Stacy and Clinton say, "It's better to have a few nice key pieces that cost more, than to have a lot of cheap junk." Maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but it was close. Same idea. Seven Jeans. They are the way to go.

Shankar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shankar said...

Men have it easy.

Men in Asia have it easier. Odd dimensions? Nothing like "bespoke tailoring". A friend of mine recently got two suits, four shirts and four ties - all bespoke - in Thailand for under $500.

Craze said...

I hate shopping for clothes, especially when I NEED them.

Dean said...

Baby girls don't have it easy. Guys pants have the same problem with fitting different depending on the brand. A bit pricy but they run long are rock n republic's. You'll need to get them at the nordstroms rack to make them affordable. Or I hear buckle has long pants.

Celine & Cameron said...

I agree! Jean shopping is not easy. But once you find that one special pair (even if they cost a little (ok, A LOT) more... it's so worth it!

Em said...

Oh, I learned the true weirdness of female fashion when I went along for my daughter's back to school shopping. What a nightmare of sizes and options!

But kudos to your guy friend for going along to offer support...or even just a friend. Nice not to face the mall all alone.

Of course, he probably enjoyed watching you try on all those jeans. ;)

Paul and Sarah said...

I love shopping for Jeans. There I said it. But only because I wear jeans just about every day of my life. Just go jean shopping with me next time, I'll try them all on and you can buy.

The Dally Llama said...

What kind of self-respecting dude agrees to go clothing shopping with a girl? Even if you're not picky, it's still going to take forever. That's because the numbers on women's clothing mean nothing. They're simply thrown on there haphazardly by a drunk monkey as the article of clothing leaves the factory, and actually have nothing to do whatever with the size of the items. I thought everyone knew that.

Really, I don't know how you ladies put up with that crap. I also don't know how your friend could have possibly thought that this would end in anything other than the better part of a day spent going shop to shop to shop to shop...

Jocelyn said...

For a long time, I resisted the stretch-denim fabric that's now invaded almost every designer's repertoire. I thought, "stretch denim" is like, what?, cruiswear?

But then I realized that it accommodates all the female forms...

Great story!

Above Average Joe said...

How 'bout a skirt?

Just kidding. Mrs. Joe is all torso with shorter legs so everything is too long. I havent shopped for jeans with her in years.

Bone said...

I hear ya, sister. With long sleeved shirts, a medium is too short in the arms. But a large just hangs on me, halfway to my knees.

Why is there no ledium? Or marge?

Kelly said...

I found this really awesome website called myshape.com where you put all of your measurements in and they let you know what shape your body is and what size you should get in certain jeans. I had really good luck with it!!!