I Had A Dream

Friday started like any other normal day.

I attended class, drove home, met up with Mama Mia, and we left town for the evening.  My right eye was a little itchy.

Around 9:30pm both of my eyes were itching like crazy.  I leaned over to Mama Mia and asked her how my eyes looked.  She responded, "You look awful.  Both your eyes are swollen and pink.  Just smile.  It will make your eyes smaller."

Awesome.  So I look like a freak.  A smiling freak.  A smiling freak with itchy eyes.  What is wrong with me?

We arrived back in Athens a little after 1am.  I opted to not drive home since my eyes looked like pink marsh mellows attached to my face.  I hoped my eyes would magically be okay in the morning.  I certainly didn't have time for an eye infection.

I went to bed in the guest room.  ...I dreamed about a wedding.  I was one of the bridesmaids.  A makeup artist was doing the eye makeup for others in the wedding party.  Their eyes looked lovely.  And I was next in line!  I sat in the chair and closed my eyes.  She brushed color after color onto my eyelids.  The effect must have been gorgeous.  I could hear the others around me ohhhing and ahhhing over my eye makeup.  They were commenting about the beautiful shimmer and shine on my eyelids.  I could feel her brush gently stroking powder on my lids.  The brush was so soft.  I couldn't wait to see the results.  I decided to peek.  I wanted to see how it looked.  I waited until the brush stroke stopped, but my eyes hesitated.  I wanted to see what she was doing but my eye muscles would not respond.  OPEN!  Eyes, open!!  I just wanted to see.  My eyes, I couldn't open them!  Just open!  I started to panic.  Eyes, open now!  Nothing.  Just darkness!  1, 2, 3 open!  Why.Can't.I.Open.My.Eyes?!...

And then I woke up.  A crusty layer of eye goop had sealed both eyes shut.  I stumbled to the bathroom and washed my eyes.  When I finally could open them, I saw sleep had not helped them.  Both were completely pink and so puffy that I could just see through a slit.  A call to our doctor confirmed I had conjunctivitis - pink eye - in both eyes.

I picked up the medicated eye drops prescribed to me and drove home.  Julia Gulia happened to text me later and ask how I was doing.  I snapped a picture on my phone of my swollen eyelids as a response.  I laughed at her return text, "Well, you can put on more eye shadow this way."

Perhaps.  If only I'd been able to watch the makeup artist in my dream...

Two Feet and Half a Foot

Julia Gulia gets married in a few weeks and I'm one of her bridesmaids. She wants us each to wear matching shoes and selected an ivory pair. I ordered them online and they arrived today. I was excited.

Then I tried them on.

Oh my golly goodness. These suckers have a small platform and a heel half a foot high. While Julia-Gulia has practice walking in heels this tall and actually looks natural in the process, my normally long stride immediately turns to an awkward shuffle the moment I put on these shoes.

I'm more into flats.

I like long walks on the beach. Heels don't allow for long walks.
I like leisurely strolls through parks. Heels don't allow for leisurely strolls.

I like fashion, don't get me wrong, but I also like comfort.

I'm not even really opposed to heels. I enjoy wearing them here and there.

It's just, well, wearing these shoes is going to be one, tall order.

Weddings are for Normal People

Question: What do normal people do at weddings?

Answer: I suppose they sit politely, stand/sing/clap/pray at the appropriate times, and socialize/dance during the reception.

I wouldn't know. I'm not 'normal'.

Question: What do I do at weddings?

Oh, I'm so glad you asked. I sneak away with Little Boy Blue, find naked statue gardens, and take pictures. I think my way is waaaaaay more fun.

Dear Josh and Danielle ~ Congratulations! Thanks for inviting my family to your special day. You mentioned I was missing from the pictures the photographer took. Hmm, that's weird. I guess the photographer and I always just missed each other. I mean, I was there. Regardless, Little Boy Blue and I had lots of fun. It's certainly a wedding he and I will never forget. Much love ~ Charlottalove

Milk: It Does A Body Good

A couple at church got engaged the week before Christmas.

Julia-Gulia got engaged Christmas Eve.

A co-worker got engaged Christmas Day.

Another friend got engaged two weeks ago.

Is there something in the water?!?

I'll have a glass of milk, please.

Adieu, I Do

I think there was something in the water this summer. Every weekend, it seemed, was some one's wedding, engagement, bridal shower, or rehearsal dinner. No matter which direction I looked, it was wedding, wedding, wedding.

Speaking of weddings, I received a proposal.

Yes, the marriage kind!

When am I getting married? Well, there's a few complications.

Complications? For starters, I need to know his name.

No, I don't know his name. It happened so quickly.

No! I didn't meet him on some random dating website. Just listen...

Look, do you want to hear the story or not?


Okay then. So a few years ago my sister, Johnny Cherie, gave me a paper weight for my birthday. It looks just like a solitaire engagement ring. I took it to work and it proved to be a great conversation starter. One weekend, one of the office suites next to us had an attempted robbery. The county sent over two police men to check for damage. Since our office shares a back hallway with our neighbors, the cops came to our suite as well. I assured them that we had looked through the office and nothing was damaged or missing. As the cops turned to leave, the ring caught the attention of one officer.

"Wow, that's a nice ring!"
"It is, thank you. I'm just waiting for the guy that comes with it."

To my surprise, he picked up the ring, dropped to one knee, and proposed.


I was speechless.

I usually have, as the name suggests, a lotta thoughts sprinting through my mind but at that moment, I had absolutely no thought, no idea, and no clue how to respond.

So I blushed.

And he laughed. He put the ring back on my desk and walked out. Out of the office and out of my life.

Um, Mr. Officer? Hello? Were you serious? Hello? "I do." Can you hear me? Mr. Officer?

...adieu.

A Wedding Story

Mama Mia and P2 have always said they would pay me to elope. Sure a wedding is traditional and beautiful but eloping is much less expensive. Until this weekend, I was open to their suggestion, male suitor still pending of course.

After seeing my best friend of 20+ years walk down the isle, the stress associated with weddings suddenly seemed fun.

In fact, I'm starting to rethink the whole 'eloping' bit.

I'm open to red hair extensions.

I'm open to graffiti backdrops in my bridal portrait.

I'm open to sitting down and relaxing.

I'm certainly open to a limo ride!

P2, Mama Mia...How much do you love me?

One word of advice: Don't leave your camera at the table if an older wedding guest asks you to dance. Shelly Belly decided she would play paparazzi.

What is this? Am I yawning?

Okay, enough with the camera.

Shelly Belly! I know where you live...

Resigning

I was a cashier during college and a pet peeve was customers who continued their cell phone conversations while at the register. For this reason, I will either end my call or ask the person on the other end to hold when I check out.

The other night I was in line behind three carts at Wally-World. The cashier was scheduled to go on break soon so she turned the register light off indicating the line was closed after my cart. While waiting, my bestest friend Elke called to tell me some exciting news. I chatted with her, hung up, and continued waiting. The line moved rather slowly since the three carts in front were each filled to the brim. Realizing I still had some waiting time, I called Mama Mia quickly to relay a message. Occasionally I had to tell some stranger trying to squeeze in behind me that the line was closed.

My turn finally came. In an attempt to start a casual conversation I joked,
"I bet you're glad that I'm the last person in your line so you can go on break now."
"Mm huh. My light has been off for over 30 minutes."
"I bet. That couple had quite a bit in their cart."
"Mm huh. And you weren't very helpful either. Miss Chitter - Chatter on her cell phone...I really needed your help to tell people my line was closed but I couldn't get your attention."
"Hey, I told about 3 or 4 people."
"Yeah, and I told 10!"
"Well, my best friend just got engaged ten minutes ago. Of course I had to get the details!"
"You get excited about people getting married? Well...I suppose you ARE still young."

Whoa. I've never felt inadequate in my role as customer but since I apparently performed so low on my Wal-Mart Volunteer Performance Evaluation, I humbly submit my two - week notice effective immediately. I only hope Target recognizes my potential.

Always Double Check

I went to a bridal shower this weekend for a friend named Laura Morrison*. While I was at work on Friday, I realized I hadn't gone shopping yet for a gift. I quickly logged onto Target's bridal list to see if she had registered there. I found her and looked at a few items to get an idea of what to shop for. After work I went and picked up some accessories for her bathroom and wrapped them for the party on Saturday.

The items and colors weren't to my liking at all. Mama Mia watched as I wrapped the gifts. I explained that I only purchased what was on her registry and not what I personally would have chosen.

At the shower, my gift was selected first to be opened. Laura unwrapped the gift, looked at it for a few seconds and finally said she liked the design. One of her friends asked if she had registered for the particular item. Laura softly shook her head no. Confused, I perked up and said, "I printed out the registry. I even checked the bar codes to verify the items. ...you did register at Target, didn't you?"

"No, just Macy's and JC Penney."

"Hmmm...Well, there's a Laura Morrison somewhere that's not going to get some items."

* normally I don't include actual names on this blog but in this case, I wanted to prove that her name really isn't that common.