A Series of Unfortunate Events

Saturday was a series of events.

Fortunately I saved fuel by biking to the grocery store.
Unfortunately I didn't bring enough water and suffered from dehydration all afternoon and evening.

Fortunately I carpooled with three friends to Atlanta. We had an enjoyable afternoon.
Unfortunately the car radiator cracked 15 minutes after we started our drive home to Athens.

Fortunately the split was near the surface and the driver had a tire repair kit in the trunk. The super glue, rubber strip, and duct tape seal held together for the remaining 2 hour drive.
Unfortunately we had to drive with the heater on high the entire ride to help cool the engine.

Fortunately I don't mind having the windows down.
Unfortunately we wouldn't arrive home till after midnight.

Fortunately my car was still at Lowes where I had parked it for the day.
Unfortunately Lowe's locks their parking lots when they close.

Fortunately my car radiator was fine.
Unfortunately my car was locked for the evening.

Fortunately Lowe's is open on Sunday.

What a weekend...fortunately it's over!

A Hallmark Moment

The question foremost on my mind since being accepted to UGA concerns the cost and how I'll be able to pay. I applied, albeit late, for an assistantship but all the positions are filled. While I wait to apply again, I've found several sites that list scholarship opportunities for graduate students. One in particular caught my attention. Applicants submit greeting messages or pictures for an online card company. The winner(s) will receive school funding and their idea becomes a virtual reality.

A few years ago, my bestest friend Elke went to the doctor for some pain in her wrists. The doctor said she was suffering from carpal tunnel. Since we live a few states away, I couldn't physically help her with tasks around the house but I tried to show sympathy with a card. In case you were wondering, there's not much of a market catered to carpal tunnel. I had to make my own.

What do you say? Should I give this company a call? Really, who can say no to talent like that?!

Resigning

I was a cashier during college and a pet peeve was customers who continued their cell phone conversations while at the register. For this reason, I will either end my call or ask the person on the other end to hold when I check out.

The other night I was in line behind three carts at Wally-World. The cashier was scheduled to go on break soon so she turned the register light off indicating the line was closed after my cart. While waiting, my bestest friend Elke called to tell me some exciting news. I chatted with her, hung up, and continued waiting. The line moved rather slowly since the three carts in front were each filled to the brim. Realizing I still had some waiting time, I called Mama Mia quickly to relay a message. Occasionally I had to tell some stranger trying to squeeze in behind me that the line was closed.

My turn finally came. In an attempt to start a casual conversation I joked,
"I bet you're glad that I'm the last person in your line so you can go on break now."
"Mm huh. My light has been off for over 30 minutes."
"I bet. That couple had quite a bit in their cart."
"Mm huh. And you weren't very helpful either. Miss Chitter - Chatter on her cell phone...I really needed your help to tell people my line was closed but I couldn't get your attention."
"Hey, I told about 3 or 4 people."
"Yeah, and I told 10!"
"Well, my best friend just got engaged ten minutes ago. Of course I had to get the details!"
"You get excited about people getting married? Well...I suppose you ARE still young."

Whoa. I've never felt inadequate in my role as customer but since I apparently performed so low on my Wal-Mart Volunteer Performance Evaluation, I humbly submit my two - week notice effective immediately. I only hope Target recognizes my potential.

Silver Lining

In recent conversations with friends, I have sarcastically mentioned lining windows with tinfoil. No one knew what I meant.

"Tinfoil? On windows?" "Who does that?" "I've never seen that - are you making this up?"

Absolutely not! Growing up I saw people use tinfoil in place of curtains on many a window. The trend exponentially increased within trailer home parks. I thought it was tacky and called it white-trash. After I informed my friends what a tinfoil window consisted of, I added that public mocking would occur if anyone I knew actually 'insulated' with Reynolds Wrap.

I was online one afternoon and a friend started im'ing me. The chat box blinked.
"You can make fun of me now."
"Why?"
"I was studying this morning by the window and I got cold...so I tried your suggestion and taped up some tinfoil."
"You WHAT?! That wasn't a suggestion but rather something NEVER to do. Why didn't you just turn up the heat? ...oh, and does it work?"
"It works really well. I'm toasty now."
"And totally white trash!"

I decided to pick up an extra item that afternoon while grocery shopping. I saw my friend - who now will be known as Mr. Reynolds - later that evening. "Hey, I stopped by a fabric store today on my way home. I know - random - anyway, I saw a pattern I think you will like and picked it up for you. Here you go." It's been said that every rain cloud has a silver lining. In Mr. Reynolds' case, so does his window.

I just love what you've done with the place!

Drugs: Just Say Green

A friend of mine just had knee surgery. He's been very nervous about the whole ordeal. I’ve tried to be a supporting friend but considering I can only maintain a serious perspective for about, oh, 2 minutes 37 seconds, I’m not sure how helpful I’ve been.

Him: Charlotte, I feel sick to my stomach.
The ever-compassionate, supportive friend: Are you getting sick?
Him: No. I just worry about all that could go wrong. What if the nurse gives me too much anesthesia and I don’t wake up?
Me: If that happens, can I have your cell phone? And your truck?

He called last night to report the surgery. Although this means no new phone or vehicle, I really enjoyed the call. The following conversation is brought to you by the letters Rx, prescription drugs, and the color green.

Me: Hey there! How are you feeling?
Stoned Guy: im alri butin pain.
Me: You are in pain?
Stoner: Mmhuh.
Me: Did they give you any pain medication?
Stoner: yea..ijus tookid.
Me: (smiling) Well, you sound tired. You want me to let you go?
Stoner: NO! Juss talk.
Me: About what?
Stoner: Gree...
Me: Green? The color green?
Stoner: Mmhuh.
Me: (laughing) Okay…

I'm really looking forward to the day he is completely coherent. I'll repeat all the random quotes and tease a bit. I just have to remember, it's all fun and games until I undergo surgery (if needed one day). Then I'll have a taste of my own medicine. I just hope it's Cherry Flavored.

SWF Seeks More Friends

Julia Gulia and I have a mutual friend who happens to be pursuing his undergrad in preparation for medical school. He currently works part time in the emergency room at a local hospital. He has learned quite a bit and is always eager to share that knowledge with others.

During a recent visit, our typical hang out activities turned to Hospital Care 101. Instead of movie talk, web browsing, or playing a game, Julia Gulia and I were treated. This included an explanation of medical tools, my hand being looked at (see #8), a plantar wart examination, and our ears being cleaned. As I laid on the couch, a towel around my neck, hydrogen peroxide fizzing in my ear, and Julia Gulia watching on while an explanation of the process was given, I thought, "I really need more friends."

Yes - more friends. Specifically I'm looking for anyone in culinary or massage therapy school. Oh, and if you happen to be a financially secure, generous world traveler, I'm sure we'll get along just fine!

I'd Like To Buy A Vowel Please

My friend Krista had a baby 7 weeks ago. She and her husband moved a week before their son was born so I've only seen pictures of him on their blog. In one set of pictures, I commented that his outfit was pretty snazzy since his name was stitched across the front. I was finally able to see the little guy in person this weekend at a wedding reception we each attended. At one point, I was standing with Krista and two others as we admired Thatcher. For some reason he started to fuss. I stated that perhaps Thatcher was upset since his onsie wasn't mammogramed with his name.

* silence with awkward stares

"Charlotte, do you mean monogrammed?"

...um, yes. Excuse me while I go sit in the coroner...

Miss Taken

Miss Taken or Mistaken. I'm not sure which is most correct.

You see, I found out I'm married. Yes, yes, I have taken the plunge and I'm married. It all started so innocently. I was there. He was there. There was music and dancing. He asked for my hand and I took it. The music overcame me and I found myself winding round and round, in and out, twisting and turning. Oblivious to any spectators, I threw inhibitions to the wind and tossed my head back. When the music ended, I was informed I had just performed the marriage dance.

Oh.

Um...meet Miss-Taken and Chief-Contestant-So-You-Think-You-Can-Dance.

And here's my new sister in law Tiger Lily. She kept saying something about her friend Peter and never wanting to grow up. Not sure what that was all about.

Best of the Best

Not many people can boast they met their best friend in first grade.

What?! You got something to say about my hair? Huh?! That's right...I didn't think so!

Not all friends decide to keep in touch through letters and phone calls when one moves away in fifth grade. There's nothing wrong with the Monkees...or dancing in the middle of the living room.

Not many friends have had Minnie Mouse ask if they were twins. Exclusive from the "Why did our parents let us leave looking like that!" file. And yes, that's a potato stamped shirt. When you finish with the potato letters, you not only have an uber cool 80's shirt but a painted potato ready for the extreme game of truth or dare.

Not all friends can sense "something is going on" even though they are states away in distance. From the glorious college dorm days.

Not all friends are like my bestest friend, Elke...I just got lucky!
I called Elke yesterday just to say hi. When I asked how she was doing, she responded, "Oh, just trying to get used to being 28!" I quickly thought, What is she talking about? Her birthday isn't until the first week of August. ...Oh shoot! I apologized and admitted I hadn't remembered. Since I am half a year older, I said, "They say the first thing to go is your memory..." She laughed. Not all friends are that forgiving. Elke, you are the best of the best.

Happy belated Birthday!

Voted: Most Gossiped About

I received an email advising me to not follow through on an invitation from a guy entering my life. The email was from a close friend but I wondered if I had been sent the email accidentally for two main reasons:

1. There was no proposition of any sort made and

2. There is no guy in my life.

Sorting the situation out later on the phone, I found out that someone said that someone else said he said that she said I was headed for trouble with some guy.

Of course I was honored.

I'm usually the one starting the rumors and never the culprit of. This throws an entire new twist into life. Now I have more to live for. I am that somebody everyone's talking about.

Can I get a trophy or something. A ribbon at least?