Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!

We have many nicknames in my family. It just sort of happened. One day I was Charlotte and the next day I was Charika. I don't really know why but I know that's my name. I have a sister whose given name is Janette Cherie but the last time I actually called her Janette, well, I don't remember. She is Johnny-Cherie to me. Here's how that nickname came about.

When I was younger, The Dean Inc and I watched a movie about Johnny Appleseed. We thought it was the dumbest movie ever. I don't know why we sat through it. Probably because we didn't get much tv time so watching stupid tv was better than no tv at all. It was so silly, we felt dumber for having sat through it. We complained for about two days on how stupid the movie was before realizing there were many other pressing things to worry about. You know, things like running out of water to make mud pies, Barbie not wanting to marry GI JOE because all he did all day was go to war, and the big blanket used for making the roof in our couch house being in the washing machine. You see, we had some pretty stressful situations to remedy. Our way of solving these problems involved various name-calling episodes. I'm sure you experienced something similar growing up. Most of the name-calling was pretty standard and memorized - until one day...

Quit! You're a stupid-head!
Oh yeah, well you're a dumb-face!
Whatever! You're stupid...like Johnny Appleseed!
GASP! WHAT? I...oh...you... MOM!

We found out the penalty for calling a sibling Johnny Appleseed was time-out in your bedroom, doing a nice deed for the offended, and a public apology in front of the family. "Sorry I called you Johnny Appleseed." And sometimes we even had to hug. Gross! The Dean Inc and I knew we couldn't use that name anymore. We had to think of something new. The punishment was too steep otherwise and besides, I couldn't handle many more hugs. This is where Janette got involved. She was just a baby at the time. The Dean Inc and I loved her. She was just so cute! How could she ever do anything wrong? Or how could we ever do anything mean to her? We were the first to stand up for our little girl. Well, kind of.

It came time for another argument. Remembering the icky hug session from the last name calling session, and not wanting to hug ever again, we approached it with a little more thought.

You're an ugly-face.
No. You just wish you were me.
Pfft - I'm glad I'm not stupid like you.
You're so stupid you would probably call Janette "Johnny Appleseed!"
Hey! I know her name. Don't say that about her. You can call ME Johnny but not her.
Okay, then you are Johnny Appleseed.
No, I'm not. Janette is but you called her that.
No I didn't...she's not stupid like Johnny Appleseed.
She can't even talk!
But she's not stupid like you.
Well I'll call her Johnny but it's your fault.
Nu..uh! MOM!

After another disgusting hug, The Dean Inc and I went to war. Me against him. And Janette as our weapon. Who could call her Johnny the most before the other got mad? Who could call her Johnny in front of the family without the parentals catching on or getting upset? I don't know who won. The nickname stuck. From then on, Janette has been Johnny to me. The cool thing about Johnny is, she doesn't care that her nickname is the result of an awful, stupid movie The Dean Inc and I sat through. She just goes along with the flow.

Last year she cut her hair real short. I continued calling her Johnny without too much thought until people starting assuming she was my little brother. Comments like, "Oh, you must be Charika's little brother." or "I didn't realize you had two little brothers at home." started to bother me. "Uh, no. This is my sister Johnny - well Janette - but we call her Johnny." So now, to keep things easier, I just tacked on her middle name and I call her Johnny Cherie.

Johnny Cherie...I love ya!