Wednesday, April 18, 2007

If I had a garden...


...I'd plant my tulips next to yours.

I was the pickup queen in college. I actually kept a notebook of my favorites. A fun ploy of mine was to engage a guy in conversation then just break out a pickup line. I wasn't ever serious; just thought it was fun to jazz up the conversation. One catch: I could say the lines to any guy except my current crush.

To pay for college, I worked at the BYU Creamery. During the three years+ of employment, I worked my way from Ice-Cream-Scooper-Peon to Student-Manager. One of my favorite duties was manning the register. One week, I had a crush on a particular regular named Steve. He came in to buy his standard donut-and-milk special and was next in my line. Without thinking, I said, "I'm ready to check you out now." His eyebrow raised and he deliberately responded, "Oh are you now..."

For once the table was turned on me. I didn't know how to respond and I felt my face turn the shade of strawberry ice cream. I guess this gave him the encouragement he sought because he asked me out the next week. Each time he came through my line after that, I tried a different line just for kicks. I purposely found the cheesiest types around.

"Is your daddy a baker? Cus you got a nice set of buns."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"
"Are your legs tired? Cus you've been running through my mind all day!"

You get the point. Any favorites you want to share?

14 comments:

I'm Chrissy! said...

I was in line to pay for filling my car with gas. As I stepped up to the counter, I said, "I got gas." The guy at the counter looked confused until I realized it sounded like I was telling him I was flatulant. I never went there again.

charlottalove said...

Chrissy, I'm laughing out loud! I had a friend who worked at one of the fill stations in town. He had a little post-it note taped to his register that said, "Did you get fuel?" Apparently he had slipped up in front of customers one too many times. I think it's a common slip up...you can probably go back to that station now. :o)

Jason said...

When I worked at the gas stations in Paris, I loved it when people said "I got gas" because I kept a couple rolls of Tums behind the register. I would reply, "Do you want Cherry flavor or mint?"

Thomas said...

As I am writing this I have gas!

As to the pick up lines . . . I have a couple that I would use.

1. (To be used at a Church Dance) Do you wanna go to the Mother's Lounge? It has the most comfortable chairs/couches to "talk".
2. (To be used at EFY) Do you wanna hold the Priesthood?
3. Hi . . . I'm Thom Carter.

Thomas said...

PS - Nice Tulips Charlotte. I would like to take your Tulips to the Mother's Lounge!

Em said...

You're right...you did pick some of the most corny. But you had me laughing!

Anonymous said...

charlotte, your such a dork, but you know what? I think I'll keep you. =)

Dean said...

Sometimes I wonder.

mlh457 said...

I seemed to have lost my phone number...can I have yours?

Jason McGowan said...

Hummm, you mentioned that you would not use those pickup lines on your current crush. I have never heard those pickup lines from you! I guess I know what that means :)

michelle said...

ur eyes are brown like manure..i just want to scoop u up!

Shankar said...

"Hi. My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

Shankar said...

Hi, I'm a librarian, and you are way overdue to be checked out.


You: Hey, do you wanna dance?
Her: Sure.
You: Good, go dance, I wanna talk to your friend.

"Finally! Someone good enough for me!"

What's your name? Or should I call you mine?

Would you like to dance or is your sole function in life to stand around and look pretty?

Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Girl: NO.
Guy: Neither do I, but I know it's enough to break the ice. Hello.

Shankar said...

I heard this on "The Mask": Hold on, Sugar. Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight.