Wednesday, April 18, 2007

If I had a garden...

...I'd plant my tulips next to yours.

I was the pickup queen in college. I actually kept a notebook of my favorites. A fun ploy of mine was to engage a guy in conversation then just break out a pickup line. I wasn't ever serious; just thought it was fun to jazz up the conversation. One catch: I could say the lines to any guy except my current crush.

To pay for college, I worked at the BYU Creamery. During the three years+ of employment, I worked my way from Ice-Cream-Scooper-Peon to Student-Manager. One of my favorite duties was manning the register. One week, I had a crush on a particular regular named Steve. He came in to buy his standard donut-and-milk special and was next in my line. Without thinking, I said, "I'm ready to check you out now." His eyebrow raised and he deliberately responded, "Oh are you now..."

For once the table was turned on me. I didn't know how to respond and I felt my face turn the shade of strawberry ice cream. I guess this gave him the encouragement he sought because he asked me out the next week. Each time he came through my line after that, I tried a different line just for kicks. I purposely found the cheesiest types around.

"Is your daddy a baker? Cus you got a nice set of buns."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."
"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"
"Are your legs tired? Cus you've been running through my mind all day!"

You get the point. Any favorites you want to share?


I'm Chrissy! said...

I was in line to pay for filling my car with gas. As I stepped up to the counter, I said, "I got gas." The guy at the counter looked confused until I realized it sounded like I was telling him I was flatulant. I never went there again.

charlottalove said...

Chrissy, I'm laughing out loud! I had a friend who worked at one of the fill stations in town. He had a little post-it note taped to his register that said, "Did you get fuel?" Apparently he had slipped up in front of customers one too many times. I think it's a common slip can probably go back to that station now. :o)

Jason said...

When I worked at the gas stations in Paris, I loved it when people said "I got gas" because I kept a couple rolls of Tums behind the register. I would reply, "Do you want Cherry flavor or mint?"

Thomas said...

As I am writing this I have gas!

As to the pick up lines . . . I have a couple that I would use.

1. (To be used at a Church Dance) Do you wanna go to the Mother's Lounge? It has the most comfortable chairs/couches to "talk".
2. (To be used at EFY) Do you wanna hold the Priesthood?
3. Hi . . . I'm Thom Carter.

Thomas said...

PS - Nice Tulips Charlotte. I would like to take your Tulips to the Mother's Lounge!

Em said...

You're did pick some of the most corny. But you had me laughing!

Anonymous said...

charlotte, your such a dork, but you know what? I think I'll keep you. =)

Dean said...

Sometimes I wonder.

mlh457 said...

I seemed to have lost my phone number...can I have yours?

Jason McGowan said...

Hummm, you mentioned that you would not use those pickup lines on your current crush. I have never heard those pickup lines from you! I guess I know what that means :)

michelle said...

ur eyes are brown like manure..i just want to scoop u up!

Shankar said...

"Hi. My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

Shankar said...

Hi, I'm a librarian, and you are way overdue to be checked out.

You: Hey, do you wanna dance?
Her: Sure.
You: Good, go dance, I wanna talk to your friend.

"Finally! Someone good enough for me!"

What's your name? Or should I call you mine?

Would you like to dance or is your sole function in life to stand around and look pretty?

Guy: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Girl: NO.
Guy: Neither do I, but I know it's enough to break the ice. Hello.

Shankar said...

I heard this on "The Mask": Hold on, Sugar. Daddy's got a sweet tooth tonight.