Happy New Year

Reasons why I loved Christmas.
Incidently, the same reasons why the New Year will be difficult.

Oh man. Christmas was sweet! The type of sweet that melts in your mouth and then clogs your arteries. Oh blessed, sweet, corn syrupy Christmas. I will miss you.

Candy Land

I used to work for a company that held seminars for people interested in Real Estate. I was on the phone with a customer one day and they asked, "Do you realize the knowledge you have at your fingertips?!" I awkwardly admitted I had never attended a seminar or looked through any material. The customer, completely amazed at my lack of interest, refrained from scolding me and I mentally committed to learn the tricks of the trade. The knowledge I left with wouldn't qualify me as an instructor but it is enough to appreciate these fine works of gingerbread houses - well, graham cracker anyway.

FOR SALE: 1 bedroom; 1 bath; snow capped roof; mint brick; licorice door frame; nerd paneling; gumdrop bushes. Complimentary roof opening for summer breeze. Total Fat: 9G Calories: 360 Market Price: $2.61 Nice Neighborhood. Call Muffin Man (on Drury Lane) for more details.

FOR SALE: Modified Double-wide; 2 bedroom; 1.5 bath; gummi bear insulated roof; licorice piping door, window, and walkway; cookie/snow capped side decal; minty walls; m&m garden. Total Fat: 11G Calories: 398 Market Price: $4.23 Able to deliver. Call Little Debbie for details.

FOR SALE: Abandoned cookie house in woods. Great fixer-upper project for ambitious owner. 1 bedroom; 1 bath; gumdrop grass; gummi bear adorned lawn (mass graveyard?); licorice trunk in roof for potential fire escape or tree swing; house entirely filled with skittles, gummi bears, and m&ms for midnight snacks; child delight. Total Fat: 21G Calories: 618 Market Price: $6.29 Call former occupants - Hansel & Gretel for details. They prefer phone interviews - something about breadcrumbs and witches.

I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas

Redneck that is.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

at least one present comes in a Halloween Harvest bag.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

at least one present is wrapped in a garbage bag.

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

you receive a gift wrapped in a shopping bag - and not even the store the gift came from!

You know it's a Redneck Christmas if...

any duct tape is used.

Hope you each had a wonderful Christmas be it White or Redneck!

dic·tion·ar·y

pre·dict'a·ble -adjective capable of being foretold Charlotta's poses, taken over a year apart, were predictable.

re·la·ted -adjective associated; connected It was obvious the two sisters were related.

In Love

Julia-Gulia and I enjoyed a quick road trip to Charleston, South Carolina this weekend. I've been there before but wanted JG to visit at least once before she leaves again for school in January. We were able to enjoy some shopping, the coast, a break from home obligations, and even the cool, windy weather.

Oh, I forgot to tell you one major detail. I met the man of my dreams! He's tall - a must if I continue to wear boots, dark - bronze from the sun, and handsome. He very strong - his muscles are rock hard. He loves to travel - mostly by sea, and is very outdoorsy. He is fond of pets - especially parrots. He is rich and has a great eye for hoop earrings made of gold. Oh, speaking of great eyes, his are blue, though he has bad eyesight. I also have poor eyes so our future children are doomed but I'm fortunate my eyes aren't as bad as his - he usually requires an eye patch.

We just clicked. I can't explain it. Words weren't needed. I could tell by the way he looked at me that we were meant to be.

I found out he owns his own ship so I'm sure I'll document our vacations on this blog in the recent future.

Hey, hands off sista!

Drugs: Just Say Green

A friend of mine just had knee surgery. He's been very nervous about the whole ordeal. I’ve tried to be a supporting friend but considering I can only maintain a serious perspective for about, oh, 2 minutes 37 seconds, I’m not sure how helpful I’ve been.

Him: Charlotte, I feel sick to my stomach.
The ever-compassionate, supportive friend: Are you getting sick?
Him: No. I just worry about all that could go wrong. What if the nurse gives me too much anesthesia and I don’t wake up?
Me: If that happens, can I have your cell phone? And your truck?

He called last night to report the surgery. Although this means no new phone or vehicle, I really enjoyed the call. The following conversation is brought to you by the letters Rx, prescription drugs, and the color green.

Me: Hey there! How are you feeling?
Stoned Guy: im alri butin pain.
Me: You are in pain?
Stoner: Mmhuh.
Me: Did they give you any pain medication?
Stoner: yea..ijus tookid.
Me: (smiling) Well, you sound tired. You want me to let you go?
Stoner: NO! Juss talk.
Me: About what?
Stoner: Gree...
Me: Green? The color green?
Stoner: Mmhuh.
Me: (laughing) Okay…

I'm really looking forward to the day he is completely coherent. I'll repeat all the random quotes and tease a bit. I just have to remember, it's all fun and games until I undergo surgery (if needed one day). Then I'll have a taste of my own medicine. I just hope it's Cherry Flavored.

Who Completes Me

Johnny-Cherie sent me an email forward last week explaining she was 115%. Um, 115% what? After reading through the email, I realized I was looking at a mathematical breakdown of the sexes. The first column listed "guy" characteristics followed by several "girl" behaviors. Johnny-Cherie, who is a Tomboy at heart, checked several items in both categories but overall was "guyish". After adding her guy and girl traits together, the formula said she was 115% person. Wanting to know my percentage, I took the test.

GUY PART (No matter if you're a guy or a girl)
(x)You love hoodies and jeans. and flipflops!
(x) Dogs are better than cats. Dogs will actually play back. Cats are for petting purposes only. Plus they make me sneeze.
( ) It's hilarious when people get hurt.
( ) You've played with/against boys on a team.
(x)Shopping is torture.
(x) Sad movies suck. Not a fan of the cheesy chick flicks or films that make me cry.
( ) You own an XBox/gamecube.
( ) At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
( ) You own a PSP.
( ) You own a DS, PS2 or Sega.
( ) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
( ) You watch sports on TV.
( ) Gory movies are cool.
( ) You only go to your dad for advice.
(x) You own like a trillion baseball caps. Love hats...I don't have to do my hair.
( ) You like going to football games.
(x) You used to/do collect baseball cards. So I collected Disney cards when I was younger. We'll count this as 1/2 a point.
( ) Baggy shorts are cool to wear.
( ) It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(x) Green, black, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors. I don't have a silver shirt but I wear enough silver jewelry to make up for that.
(x) You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
( ) Sports are fun too.

Now add the numbers up and multiply it by 5. Post as I am 37.5% guyish.

GIRL PART
(x) You wear lip gloss.
( ) You love to shop all the time. No. We've covered this.
(x) You wear eyeliner.
( ) You have many of the same shirts in different colors.
(x) You don't like shopping at hot topic. When I do venture out, this store is fun.
(x) You wear the color pink.
( ) You consider cheerleading a sport.
( ) You hate wearing the color black.
( ) You like hanging out at the mall. Once again, this is a big fat no.
( ) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(x) You like wearing jewelry.
( ) Skirts are a main part of your wardrobe.
( ) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
( ) You don't like the movie Star Wars. I actually dressed up like Princess Leah for Halloween one year.
( ) You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance. Cheerleading is not for the long-legged.
(x) It takes you around 1 hour to get dressed and put on make-up and accessories.
( ) You smile a lot more than you should. This makes someone girly?
(x) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
(x) You care about what you look like.
(x) You like wearing dresses.

Now add the numbers up and multiply it by 5. Post as I am 45% girlish.

37.5 Boy + 45.0 Girl= 82.5 person

Oh. I suddenly feel incomplete. Not completely here or there. Johnny-Cherie? Can I borrow some of your personality?

To Eat or Not To Eat

Mama Mia makes a simple vegetable medley that I love. It's really quite simple. Take a spoonful of butter and add sliced potatoes, onions, zucchini, squash, mushrooms (if you actually enjoy that taste), and a sprinkle of spice. Cover, simmer, and enjoy.

Yesterday was busy. I had 40 quick minutes between the time I got home from church till when I would leave to attend a symphony Christmas concert. I needed some nourishment. I debated between a peanut butter sandwich or some veggies. The later seemed more appealing. Although I've never made this dish on my own, I've watched Mama Mia cook this too many times to count.

I sliced. I buttered. I combined veggies. I covered. I simmered. I waited. I blogged. I lost track of time.


...and I, uh, ate a peanut butter sandwich. Future suitors, if you are hoping to date the cook in the family, sorry but Mama Mia's happily married.

Winter Wonderland

As I listened to Winter Wonderland on the radio recently, I realized life has changed. Sleigh bells don't ring - there are no sleighs. Walking through a winter wonderland? Not in Georgia! Want to build a snowman? Where's the snow? Last year I adapted my favorite Christmas carol - Silver Bells. This year, I present a "Georgia Winter Wonderland".

Cell phones ring, won't you answer?
Car pool lanes, they're driving faster.
A beautiful sight,
The mall's lit up bright,
Walking through the Georgia Square Mall.

Gone away is the phone booth.
Here to stay is the blue tooth.
It clings to your ear,
And we can all hear,
The details of your life; what's going on.

In the mall we all can charge up more debt.
And hope we get a raise to pay it off.
We'll say, "Next year I'll go on a diet.
But ring up this dessert, I gotta try it."

Later on, as I'm buying,
A bunch of 'stuff', I'll keep trying,
To not overspend,
Or leave out a friend,
And wish I didn't know so many folks.

In the parking lot, "Now where's my car?"
"Did I park it here or over there?"
I'll have lots of fun just walking blindly.
I hope I don't pull out all of my hair.

When I'm home, oh it's thrilling,
Presents wrapping, stockings filling.
And hoping I'm done,
'Cause it's not much fun,
Walking through the Georgia Square Mall.

Walking through the Georgia Square Mall...

Father Time

I got to see Santa this weekend. Who knew he would be at the Marriot in Atlanta, Georgia? (Who knew I would be at the Marriot in Atlanta, Georgia since I live only 90 minutes away.) I quickly stepped aside to chat with Mr. Claus while my friend waited in line for her Starbuck caramel apple cider. Mmmm...

Oh yeah, back to me and Santa. Since I always have the well being of others on my mind, I asked for world peace...naturally. He didn't say anything in response. I guess my humility left him speechless. Something like that anyway.

But, I've had the whole weekend to rethink my request. Santa, I want more time. Time to finish the applications for grad school within my self inflicted timeline; time to get all the supplies for the church Christmas party this weekend; time to buy an outfit for the company Christmas party next weekend; time to shop for presents to give to my family members; time to go to the gym ~ well, that's a bit greedy of me, I'll stop there. Time. That's all I want. Time.

So if my blog seems a bit irregular compared to usual, blame it on Santa.

Fallen Foliage

I don't mean to be morbid but isn't hanging some sort of cruel and unusual punishment?

And exactly what did Mr. Green do? I don't want to make the same mistake!

(Crummy Joel over at Crummy Church Signs was inspiration behind this picture)

Reeeeeally Early

Jordan, the temp worker here at the office, celebrated his 23rd birthday three weeks ago. Since our office loves any reason to eat sugar on the company’s dime, birthdays are events! For some reason Jordan’s birthday was postponed. First he wasn’t working on his actual birthday so we waited until the next week which was Thanksgiving. Holiday weeks are short already and we worked quickly to finish on time. The birthday celebration was postponed again. This week is halfway over. No plans have been made for Jordan’s birthday since Jim is turning 80 soon. All focus is on Jim’s big day. Yesterday, as Jordan and I were going over some last minute details for the caterer (80 really is a big deal), the conversation indicated a bit of resentment.

Me: Jordan, we need a table for the cake.
Jordan: Oh. He’s getting a cake, huh.
Me: Yes. Why wouldn’t he?
Jordan: Oh I don’t know. Sometimes people don’t get cakes.
Me: Well, he is turning 80. Of course we are going all out.
Jordan: Is it going to be a cookie cake?
Me: No. Why would you think that?
Jordan: Oh, no reason. That’s what I would have wanted if it were my birthday. You know…
Me: *gasp* Jordan! We never celebrated your birthday! I’m so sorry.
Jordan: Oh it’s okay. It was probably my only birthday I’ll have with the company. No big deal.

So Jordan, today is your day. Happy 30th! Don't think of this card as three weeks late but rather several years early.

Green with Envy

Black Friday: I think it's appropriated named actually since the sky is still black when the shopping frenzy starts. I actually didn't go this year. P2 and I attempted to purchase a laptop last year. We left the house around 4:30 and headed to the store opening at 5. The line not only wrapped around the front of the store, but also around the corner, and around another corner, and to the edge of the parking lot, and into a neighboring parking lot, and then some...

SERIOUSLY?!

We obviously had never ventured out into the Black Friday craze.

This year I went shopping on Wednesday. It was a little windy and dark ~ would that make it Gray Wednesday? Anyway, I had one item on my list: a camera. I decided it was time to get with the rest of the digital world and discard my antique. I told the associate what features interested me and my budget. He found the perfect camera and took time to explain the bells and whistles. I was thrilled. I wanted to purchase the camera right then and there...but that's now how Gray Wednesday works. I asked the sales rep if he could give me a better deal on Friday. He explained that he would match any competitors ad and I made a mental note to scour the electronic ads the following day for any camera sales. I then asked him to put the camera in the back with my name on it and that I'd be back on Friday.

Friday I woke up, enjoyed my morning, put in three hours of work ~ construction doesn't stop just because the rest of the world is shopping ~ then headed to the store around noon. All I had to do was ask for my camera and hand over a piece of plastic that represents my financial worth.

5 minutes. That's how I shop on Black Friday.

Oh, check this out: in fiddling with the camera for two days straight and already going through one set of batteries (I really have fiddled a lot), I found this cool feature where the camera takes a black and white photo but leaves in a color I specify. I realize this is a common Photoshop technique and old to some of you but I couldn't resist taking some pictures.

This was a quick painting I did a few years ago when I started filling my fish tank. I painted what I wanted and posted it near the tank.
I got frogs instead.

If you look closely, you can see my green eyes. Obviously the color pops out to me but I've been looking at my eyes for 20-something years. You may have to squint to see it. :o)



Bamboo is supposed to be good luck. Wish me luck with this new camera.

(I promise, the pictures will get better!)

When the Moon Hits Your Eye

With a table full of pies, that's amore...

There is a family here that celebrates Pie Day. ...oh you've never heard of it? It's the day before Thanksgiving... you know, just in case you choke on your turkey or something and die without dessert, pie day insures you reach your maximum sugar intake prior to Thursday's meal. Pie Day is serious stuff though. In fact, it's a full course meal.

I started with a quesadilla. It's round (like a pie), cut into wedges (like a pie), and full of protein (um, like a pie).

I moved onto pumpkin pie. Pumpkin is a vegetable.

USDA recommends 2-3 servings of fruit so I took a piece of apple pie, one of blackberry, one of lemon...

Pecan pie was next. Pecans are nuts...more protein.

Of course, you have to have cheesecake. Cheese ~ that covers my dairy.

USDA also suggests 6-12 servings of whole grains. Flour makes the crust. I was on the low end with only 6 grain portions. I better have a slice of banana to get more crust.

And for dessert, I had chocolate pie.

All in all, pie night was a complete success. And I've never enjoyed being healthy quite so much!

Always Double Check

I went to a bridal shower this weekend for a friend named Laura Morrison*. While I was at work on Friday, I realized I hadn't gone shopping yet for a gift. I quickly logged onto Target's bridal list to see if she had registered there. I found her and looked at a few items to get an idea of what to shop for. After work I went and picked up some accessories for her bathroom and wrapped them for the party on Saturday.

The items and colors weren't to my liking at all. Mama Mia watched as I wrapped the gifts. I explained that I only purchased what was on her registry and not what I personally would have chosen.

At the shower, my gift was selected first to be opened. Laura unwrapped the gift, looked at it for a few seconds and finally said she liked the design. One of her friends asked if she had registered for the particular item. Laura softly shook her head no. Confused, I perked up and said, "I printed out the registry. I even checked the bar codes to verify the items. ...you did register at Target, didn't you?"

"No, just Macy's and JC Penney."

"Hmmm...Well, there's a Laura Morrison somewhere that's not going to get some items."

* normally I don't include actual names on this blog but in this case, I wanted to prove that her name really isn't that common.

Biking 101

Essential items for an afternoon of biking with friends:

Gloves

Helmet

Sunglasses

Why are these items crucial? If, hypothetically speaking of course, you turn your head to hear what the biker behind you is saying and if you steer off the road and if there happens to be a 4 inch drop from the pavement to the grass and if your front tire drops and if* you lose control of the bike, although you will fly over your bike and skid across the road, you will only have a few bruises to show for it due to protective gear.

* That's a lot of "if's" but I'm sure it could happen.

I C U

My contact prescription is old so I went to the doctor for an eye checkup. I filled out all my paper work, was seated in the checkup room, and left to wait. I entertained myself by looking around the room. I saw the typical eye doctor wall hangings: pictures of the eye, contact lens advertisements, a wall chart, and his diploma. The diploma stood out to me. Most diplomas are printed on letter or legal size paper. This one was at least 2 feet by 3 feet.

GOOD

GRIEF! Why so

big? Does he think I can't

see or something? Oh wait... never mind.

Googleeeaack...

A recent conversation at my house:

Char: Mama Mia, did you hear so-and-so died last week?

Mama Mia: Really? I was just thinking of her.

Mama Mia: You know, a few months ago, the name of a college professor crossed my mind. I decided to Google him and found several articles referencing him and some relief work he'd been involved with. I googled him a few days later to see if his email was listed. I wanted to write him a note but, instead of the articles, his obituary was listed at the top of the search engine.

Little Boy Blue: Mom! Don't Google me!

Mama Mia? Are you thinking about me? I sure hope not!

Moderation

It's getting a little chilly here in Athens. I've found myself warming up at work with a cup of hot chocolate in the afternoons but since I really like hot cocoa, I usually don't stop at just one cup. To help curb the resulting sugar rush then plunge, and to insure I still fit into my little black dress, I'm making a resolution. I'll call it an End Year Resolution.

I, Charlottalove, commit to make and drink one, and only one, cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows per day.

Finally, a commitment I can keep!

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast

I have had a few friends call me, email me, or ask me in person about the caption contest.

"So Charlotte, who won? Did you forget to post the winner?"

No, actually. The truth is, I had the hardest time choosing. So many made me laugh. So many made Mama Mia laugh. This type of contest is fun seeing all the creative posts but so hard to pick a winner. I even printed out a list of all the submissions and carried it around with me these past few days. I thought that by glancing sporadically here and there at the list might help narrow it down. Didn't really work. I finally narrowed the list down to 6. One in 1st place and 5 that tied for second.

Brice ~ your "WHERE ARE THOSE PUPPIES!?" made me chuckle.
Dorky Dad ~ the dialog between Cruella and the Mad Hatter's half birthday made me laugh...a lot. I'm still laughing, actually.
Jocelyn, Jocelyn, Jocelyn ~ your tribunal comment made me laugh, shake my head, bite my lip, laugh some more, and wipe away a tear. Oh, your caption fought hard to the end.
Charles ~ I laughed at the mental image of puppies in the Mad Hatter's Hat.
Bec ~ Offspring from Cruella and the Mad Hatter? I don't want to think about that either.


Honorable Mention must go to Diesel who captioned the wrong photo. But boy did it make me laugh! And Craig D for making some pretty accurate comparisons.


Jim ~ I kept coming back to your caption. I loved it's simplicity. I liked it's double play on words using the title of yet another Disney movie. I like being called Beauty. ...you were referring to me, right? In the end, I really liked your caption. You are the winner of a $20 gift card to the store of your choice. Email me your info and I promise I'll send the card sometime before I start decorating for Christmas...which isn't until after Thanksgiving.

Thanks everyone for posting...and waiting...and calling to make sure I remembered to pick a winner. I'll be back Monday with a real post.

2020

I have documented a few of my super powers on this blog. Today I unveil yet another super strength. Wonder Woman, Slumber Woman, meet Hindsight 20/20. My powers allow me to... you ready for this? to see the past. This skill works best if my hair is wet, I'm in a hurry, sitting at a desk in a princess room, and wearing the 20/20 eye wear. As you can see, conditions were optimal for this rare photograph.


Since I haven't blogged about my reunion yet, I thought I'd tell you through the eyes of 20/20.


I see me:
Stepping into a pile of fire ants on the second day. This will result in a swollen foot with lots of white spots that will itch uncontrollably any time the hem of my pants rubs against my skin. An additional result will be me rolling up one pant leg to avoid said itching. This will cause lots of strange looks. I will not, however, be confused with particular gangs that roll one pant leg.


I see me:
Wanting to chicken out at 6:55 for the reunion that starts at 7. My sister, Shelly-Belly, will convince me to go but tell people she and I have plans at 10 - just in case I need a reason to leave. I see me staying until the venue closes at 12:30.


I see me:
Arriving at the Bar & Grill around 7:20. I will be the second one there. A friend, Aimee, will be sitting at the bar and I will join her. We will both look around to see if we know anyone and unintentionally meet eyes with another bar patron. He will think she and I want to join his friends and ask to buy us drinks. We will both decline and wonder how to ease him out of our conversation.


I see me:
Wanting to converse with the two hearing impaired guys from my class. I see me wanting to impress them with the sign language I learned in college. I see me mixing up two very similar signs: one a common adverb, the other a very offensive gesture. I see both men opening their eyes wide while mouthing "NO", "STOP".


I see me:
Having way more fun than I anticipated. I see me wanting to attend the next reunion. ...Will I? I don't know yet. I only see the past.

Thank Goodness!

It’s November which means Thanksgiving. I like holidays! I enjoy Valentines because it’s a few days before my birthday (and there’s lots of chocolate), Halloween since I get to dress up (and there’s lots of chocolate), Easter for religious reasons (and there’s lots of chocolate), but Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite.

I think it’s a result of the beautiful colors of the changing leaves, the crisp edge that outlines each breathe, the weight of my comforter on my bed, the smell of baking everywhere you go, and the fact that there’s lots of chocolate. (I’m sensing a pattern here…)

It’s a season of gratitude also ~ hence the name: Thanksgiving. Regardless of race, gender, age, or who you will vote for next November, we are all blessed and this month is the perfect time to list just how fortunate we are.

Last week, I was in a discussion with Mama Mia and Little Boy Blue about cows - don’t ask - and the process of branding the hide. We eventually ended the conversation-but not before talking about, uh, bull emasculation if you will. Little Boy Blue's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "I'm thankful I'm not a cow!"

Um, yes. Aren't we all. ...Mama Mia, what's for dinner? Hamburgers?

Oh yeah, and speaking of segways, have you submitted a caption yet?

Some Personal Background

We each have our own computer station at work. Most of the guys have the standard blue background as their desktop but that's too boring for me. Mine changes periodically depending on my mood.

First there was Wonder Woman. Some of the guys wondered why I had a female super hero as my background. I got tired of explaining the story and changed my picture...

to my Family

During my GRE cram month, I had inspirational math problems

But now I enjoy various cartoons.




What's on your background?

(remember to submit a caption for the contest!)